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Hi [ profile] daf9! Finally done! Sorry this took way, way longer than I’d thought when it started. It just kept growing.

Fic: To Do A Weasley (Part 3/3)
Pairing: George Weasley/Lee Jordan
Rating: PG
Setting: Hogwarts, Order of the Phoenix
For: [ profile] daf9

Part 1
Part 2


January 15

“So where’s your beloved?” Alicia asked as George, Fred and Angelina stepped into the Common Room. George glanced around automatically but of course Alicia wouldn’t say something like that if there was any risk. Katie and Alicia were alone in the room and George could hear the faint buzzing of a White Noise Spell.

Fred snorted. “Well, you’ve read the newest Educational Decree, Teachers are hereby banned from giving students any information that is not strictly related to the subjects they are paid to teach.’’


“And of course Umbridge is so busy looking over every other teacher’s shoulder that she spends half our class not in class,” said Angelina. “So today these tossers were playing Exploding Snap when they were supposed to be studying.”

“Of course. And your beloved?” said Katie to George. “Exploded one in his own face?”

“No, it was all going very well,” said George, ignoring the mild blush that still warmed his face whenever Katie called Lee by that term. “Until Umbridge showed up and started to tell us off. My idiot beloved said ‘Exploding Snap’s got nothing to do with Defence Against the Dark Arts, Professor! That’s not information related to your subject!’”

“So, detention, then,” said Katie, rolling her eyes impatiently.

“Dunno why I thought either of you would make the other any smarter,” said Angelina.

“Not a chance,” said Fred. “Love makes you stupid.”

“How would you know, you wanker?” said Angelina.

“You wound me!” Fred protested.

They settled down to study the homework Harry had given them at the DA - incantations to detect hidden Animagi - and George briefly marveled at how much his life had changed after they’d told the girls. He’d been hesitant about telling anyone else about him and Lee, but Fred, as usual, been right, though he’d never tell him.

It made such a difference, not always having to hide. He hadn’t realized how much their secrecy had weighed on him until it had eased.

“What are you going to do if you’re found out?” Katie asked.

“Found out... at the DA?” asked Fred.

“Wasn’t talking to you, Humongous Bighead,” she said. “Was talking to George. What if Umbridge finds out about you and Lee?”

“What would she do?” asked George. “She hasn’t made an Educational Decree against being queer.”


“She would,” said Angelina.

“Mum and Dad would go spare,” said Fred absently, eyes still glued to the lines of the incantation.

“How d’you think your Mum and Dad would react if you told them?” asked Katie. “Would you tell them?”

“Dunno,” said George. “I haven’t really thought about it...”

“Being caught and expelled is definitely not the way you’d want them to find out,” said Fred.

“You know we could help,” said Katie.

“You’d be beards for them?” asked Fred, putting down his book.

“Go Bludger your bollocks, Fred,” said George. “We’ve talked about this--”

“You know I told you they could help,” said Fred. “It’s part of why I wanted you to tell them.”

“Get stuffed,” said George. “I’m not dating anyone just for show. Not worth it.”

“No? What about Lee?” said Fred. “If he wants to be a big radio personality, there’s a lot of very conservative people in the wizarding world who would not be happy to listen to an acknowledged poofter.”

“How about you concentrate on being able to cast a detection spell that doesn’t disappear every part of you but your bright red hair?” said George, irritated.

Katie made a rude noise. “How about we talk about you and Lee some more?”

Fred chuckled. “Katie, does it ever worry you that you’re such a fag hag?”

“A what?”

“Muggle term.”

“I didn’t know Muggles had hags,” said Alicia. “Aren’t they under control by the Department of Magical Creatures, like werewolves?”

“Yeah but Muggles still know what they are,” said Angelina.

“And what’s a fag hag?”

“Girl who hangs around with men who only want other men,” said Fred.

“Seems pretty useless,” said Angelina. “Not a chance of getting any.”

“That’s only if they’re one hundred percent queer,” said Alicia, with an odd look in her eye. “Would you ever date a girl?” she asked George.

George blinked. “Uh. Lee probably wouldn’t approve.”

“I mean, if you weren’t with Lee. Have you ever found a girl attractive?”

George shrugged, a little uneasy. Alicia and Katie’s attention got a little weird sometimes. While he was glad neither one had rejected him and Lee, their questions were often a little more pointed than he was comfortable with, and that one time he’d kissed Lee in front of them - just a quick peck - they’d given a little whoop and looked very much like they wanted to ask him to use more tongue.

“Is that a no?” asked Katie.

George shrugged again. “I dunno. Yeah, I guess so. Sure.”

“Did you suspect that you were gay before Lee?”

“I... I guess I didn’t really think about it much.”


“Alicia, enough,” said Angelina impatiently, and George shot her a grateful look. Fred, the twat, was sniggering. “Even a Weasley twin wants some privacy once in a while.”

Fred frowned. “Since when?”

Angelina rolled her eyes. “And in any case, I’d like to get back to work. We’re almost done the Animagus spells, but the vampire detection spells look baffling.”


They plunged back into it for almost two hours, as the rest of the common room’s occupants ebbed and flowed, until they were finally almost ready to call it a night. They’d figured out the vampire detection, Katie was a little shaky with detecting venoms but it was highly unlikely that she’d ever need that particular skill, Angelina was amazing at firing off Delusion spells, and they were reaching that semi-giddy state of knowledge overload where continuing was probably not going to do them any good. George yawned, gathering up his books and scrolls.

Lee stepped through the door, gingerly holding his left hand and walking slowly. The rest gave him absent waves, still focused on the last bits of studying, but George sat up, alarmed.

“What is it?”

Lee shook his head, his lips pressed together.

“Lee?” George said, and started to stand up. Lee shook his head and approached their table, still holding his left hand.

“That was a long one,” said Katie, putting the finishing touches on her notes about venoms.

“Mm, she had me sanding cauldrons by hand during my last detention,” muttered Alicia, who’d never gotten into trouble until this year, but just couldn’t manage to force herself to take DADA homework seriously and had skipped a few assignments in favour of finishing her DA stuff.

“No cauldrons,” said Lee. George stared at him as the others continued to chatter, wrapping up their study session.

Lee glanced around the empty common room and bent down, face near George’s. He put a hand on George’s arm. “Don’t go mental on me, all right?” he said, his voice low.

“What? Why not?”

Lee showed George his hand.

“Merlin’s balls!” George exclaimed, grabbing it - carefully - and peering more closely at it.

“What is it, Lee?” Fred asked, and now everyone was looking at them.

Lee yanked his hand back. “It’s fine,” he said, his lips thin. “It’s bloody fine. None of any of your business.”

George’s stomach was roiling and there was a sour taste at the back of his throat. Holy Merlin, Lee...

“Lee, what the hell?” said Angelina.

“I told you not to go mental on me,” Lee said to George, angry.

George gulped. “Well I’m sorry if I can’t just - just--”

“What happened, Lee?” asked Angelina, and Lee stared at her, then sighed and held out his hand.

George looked away, sickened at the words sliced into Lee’s dark skin: I will not be impertinent.

“Merlin,” said Angelina into the silence.

“Are you - did she carve that onto you?” said Katie, her voice shaking.

“No. I did.” George whipped his head up, meeting Lee’s eyes. “She’s got this quill,” said Lee, his voice carefully neutral. “It looks like a regular pen, but it’s been spelled so that you don’t use ink. You use your own blood. The message writes itself into your skin.” He gazed down at his own hand dispassionately. “Had me write it ‘Until the message sank in,’ she said.”

“Oh God.” Angelina was shaken, her eyes filling with tears and George couldn’t tell if they were tears of sympathy or fury.

“We can’t let her get away with this,” said Fred.

Lee huffed a laugh. “We can’t, can we?” he said bitterly. “Pull the other one.”

“What the bloody hell are you talking about?” said Fred. “This is - this is sick, it’s torture, it’s not--”

“And what would we do, Fred?”

“Tell the school’s Governors!” Fred exclaimed. “They can’t - they won’t let her--”

“The Governors?” Lee snorted. “You want this to go before them? And d’you know what would happen to my mother’s business if she took a case against Minister Fudge’s darling to the Governors?”

“You’ve got to be joking,” said George.

“Umbridge pointed it out before I started to write,” said Lee flatly. “She said I was insubordinate and had ‘suspicious friendships’ - that would be you two, by the way - and if I went to anybody it would not look good for my ‘poor dear mother’, whose business isn’t doing well and who depends on Ministry contracts.”

“Rotten bitch,” Katie spat.

“But you can’t - what are you going to do?” said Fred. “Just take it and keep bleeding on the floor?”

“Not at all, mate. I’m going to deal with this. Apparently essence of Murtlap is very useful.”

“Told you that, did she?”

“No. I met Harry on the way back from detention.”

There was a short silence. George felt his stomach turn over.

“Bloody hell,” said Alicia, her voice low.

“God, that poor kid,” Angelina murmured, shaking her head. “And... that fucking bitch

“He’s had so many detentions... Merlin.” Katie’s face was ashen.

“Right, then,” said Lee briskly. “You two have Murtlap among your ingredients, don’t you?”

George glanced at the girls as he and Fred followed Lee to their dorm, Alicia’s face like a thundercloud and Katie chewing on her lip. Angelina followed without a word.

They entered their own dorm, where Garett and Kenneth were reading.

“Piss off,” said Fred, and Kenneth frowned and opened his mouth.

“Seriously, don’t even start,” said George. Garett glanced at Angelina and looked like he might want to protest a girl in their dorm room, but then seemed to think better of it. He stood, signalled to Kenneth, and out they went.

Lee put his books down on his bed and took a deep breath, staring blankly at the floor. George put his arms around him, wishing he could do something, anything to transfer Lee’s pain and frustration to himself.

Fred slumped down onto his bed. “She has a quill that makes you cut yourself. She’s certifiable. This has gone beyond fun and games.”

“Think it’s been beyond fun and games for a while now, Fred,” George observed.

“Yeah and I’ve been saying so all along, haven’t I?” said Fred bitterly. “Can I say I told you so?”

“You told me so,” George agreed.

Lee gently squeezed George, then moved out from the circle of his arms and went to their stash of potions supplies. He picked through the vials and pouches, looking for Murtlap.

“How long d’you think she’s been making Harry cut himself?” Angelina asked.

“Dunno, mate,” said Lee. “I asked; he wouldn’t answer. He just said it fades away the first few times, but eventually you get a scar.”

Angelina looked like she wanted to be ill. “Does he have one?”

“It says I must not tell lies.”

Fred made a noise in his throat. “We have to say something.”

“No,” said Lee, locating the Murtlap.

“Lee, this is bigger than your Mum--”

“Don’t start--”

“D’you think your parents would want you to put up with--”

“Don’t tell me what my parents would want me to put up with,” said Lee evenly. “For all I know my Mum might say it served me right for being a little snot.”

“Your Mum’s not an idiot.”

“No, but she’s not your Mum either, now is she?”

“Lee, come on, don’t be a coward--”

“Shut up!” Lee scowled at Fred. “It’s not cowardice, it’s--”

“Fred--” George began.

“I don’t want to make my mother suffer!” said Lee. “Can you possibly understand that?”

Fred made a rude sound. “You don’t think our family’ll suffer if we get caught with any of the shit we do?” he said, raising his voice. “Our Dad works at--”

Your family are all involved anyway, Fred!” Lee snapped. “My parents are just business people!”

Fred scowled at him. “Just because your parents aren’t brave enough to--”

“Don’t you dare call my parents cowards!” Lee shouted furiously, and George’s stomach churned as he and Angelina swivelled their heads between Lee and Fred.

“D’you think any of this is going to change after you’re out of school?” Fred challenged. “As long as you have family, you’re going to put them in danger if you step out of line!”

Lee’s chest heaved in anger and he glared at Fred. “You bastard, you--”

“Lee...” George said helplessly, and swallowed hard as they both turned to him. This was awful. Caught between the two of them, his twin and his lover, and this was nowhere he had ever wanted to be.

“Both of you, stand down,” Angelina’s hard voice cut the tense atmosphere like a knife. “Lee, Fred’s just trying to help, in his own boneheaded way. Fred, by the way, you’re not helping. And both of you: don’t you dare put George in the middle of this, because that would be a really shitty thing to do.”

George felt a warm glow of gratitude in the deep silence that followed. Angelina was the best. Like Hermione was for Harry and Ron, she was their voice of reason and sanity and occasionally their social glue when the three of them got full of bullheaded obliviousness. And, just like Hermione, she’d probably hex him if he ever said anything like that to her.

It crossed her mind that if he and Lee ever wanted kids they’d need a mum for them and Angelina would be--

Bloody hell, George, focus.

Lee took a deep breath. “Fred, what do you think would happen if I said anything?” he asked more quietly. “What would happen to my schooling? To my chances of getting in with the Wireless? Right now I’m just one impertinent kid who got under Umbridge’s skin. She’ll crush me if I say anything.”

“So you’re just going to let her?” Fred asked, more quietly.

“I’m going to write about it, when I get out,” said Lee. “And I’m going to write what Harry told me. Take evidence. I’m going to be a fucking reporter, and figure out how to get this story out there. But in my own time!”


“I am going to deal with this. And I’ll keep going to the DA, and we’ll keep making our plans. But I’m not going to be defying her openly, not any more.”

“I’m not going to stop,” said Fred.

“Nobody’s asking you to,” said Lee. “And if I know you - both of you - I’m sure you’re going to get even worse. Just make sure that if you get to know that beastly little quill of hers, you do some mighty observing. Tell me everything that happens, and I’ll record it all. I might even start talking to other kids who’ve had detentions.” Lee uncovered his hand and picked up the Murtlap, then stopped and gazed at his hand dispassionately for a moment. “You know... maybe I shouldn’t wipe this away. I can show it to the kids who’ve had that quill used on them. Use it to get their confidence.”

“Doesn’t it hurt?” George asked.

“It’s useful,” said Lee, and put the Murtlap away.

“Like when you take a Bludger to the ribs,” said Angelina. “It’s for a greater purpose. Good on you, Jordan.” She smiled at him, and nodded briskly. “All right. You, lay off of him,” she said to Fred. “You, comfort your boyfriend,” she nodded to George, “And Lee, you let him comfort you. Fred and I’ll leave.” She paused, then winked at them. “Or, if you’re not keen in privacy right now, we can go back to the common room and you can go snog in front of Alicia and Katie, make them feel better.”

Lee snorted and shook his head, and pulled George close as Angelina led Fred out of the dorm.


April 4

”If you’re going to do a Weasley, you’ve got to do him right, Lee,” Angelina was saying to Lee as George and Fred joined the group studying in a relatively secluded corner of the library. Lee was looking like he was wildly uncomfortable but trying to cover it; Alicia and Katie were avidly gleeful. “You’ll need candles, soft music, and flowers; they like that kind of thing--”

“Oi!” said Fred, suddenly catching on to what they were saying, a bright blush flooding his features. George reflected ruefully that any moment now he was going to look exactly the same.

“Really? Were you gentle with Fred?” Lee asked Angelina seriously.

George groaned. “I don’t want to know what brought this on, do I?” he asked.

“We were asking Lee when he’s going to properly deflower you,” said Alicia, that disturbing gleam in her eyes again.

“Does it ever occur to you that you’re a little too interested in this?” asked Fred, and Alicia and Angelina had laughed.

“You all right?” asked Lee.

“Other than being a little tired and wishing our friends weren’t quite as pervy as they are?” said George. “Fine.”

“Your detentions are all done?”

“Finally, yeah,” said Fred. They’d gotten about a million detentions after asking some rather unwise questions in DADA class - turned out questioning whether the Ministry was actually able to control Dementors was “disrespectful” - but they’d turned out to be nothing but cleaning cauldrons without magic. Time-consuming and unpleasant, but nothing to complain about.

No idea why Umbridge hadn’t taken out her little quill for them. Maybe the fact that Dad worked for the Ministry -- though if anything, Fred and George had thought that might make her more likely to set her quill on them. Get them to complain. Get Dad sacked.

“You’re all minty,” said Lee, coming closer and sniffing him.

“Shove off,” George laughed. “Wanker.”

“No, it’s all right,” said Lee. “I like mint.” He pulled George close and gave him a kiss, and George leaned into it, enjoying the closeness - until Katie whistled appreciatively.

Lee rolled his eyes and pulled. “You know, much as I appreciate the full support of our friends, this is getting tedious.” He stood up and took George’s hand.

“Where are you off to?” said Katie.

“I’m off to do a Weasley,” Lee tossed over his shoulder. “Cover for us.”

It was nice, having an enthusiastic band of friends, thought George as they headed into the stacks of the library and he felt the whisper of a Lookaway spell. He and Lee were now spending a fair bit of private time together, courtesy of their friends. Everyone was so stressed out, so tense and sad and depressed that it felt as though their gang had decided to fight the doldrums by pushing George and Lee together as often as possible. Thumb Umbridge’s nose at something. She could keep boys and girls apart, but she had no clue about Lee and George, and it was hysterical.

He pulled Lee close and they kissed, reconnecting, the blasted cauldrons he and Fred had spent days cleaning quickly leaving his consciousness in the pleasure of their caresses, the security of knowing that they could do this as long as they pleased and nobody would find them, nobody would even come looking for them. If anybody came close to these stacks, Alicia’s spell would ensure that they suddenly decided they needed a book on the other side of the library, without ever realizing they’d been misdirected.

They’d taken full advantage of their privacy often. Well... not full advantage, maybe, but they’d definitely gone farther than snogging. Hands had wandered rather far lately. Fred had also given them some excruciatingly graphic advice about how to keep “certain stains” off their trousers and they’d ended up putting them to use a few times.

“You know,” said Lee as they broke apart, many pleasant minutes later. “They’ve got a point.”

“What point?” asked George, nuzzling the side of Lee’s neck.

“That we ought to do more.”

“Yeah?” a thrill went down George’s back. “What did you have in mind?”

“Snogging’s nice, don’t get me wrong. I just... I’d rather there was more action and less clothing.”

“When were you thinking?”

“No time like the present, George,” said Lee, nibbling on the side of his neck.

“What, here?” George said, his pulse quickening. “Right now?”

“I was thinking more like tonight.”


Lee paused, then gave him a half-smile and cleared his throat. “That conversation you just walked in on?”


“Angelina was saying she and Katie could sleep in our beds so Garett and Kenneth don’t suspect anything. Angelina’s pretty good at her Delusion spells. And me and you could use the Room of Requirement.”

George blinked. “What about their own roommates?”

“They said they’ll make some excuse about working with Hermione on SPEW.”

“What’ll Hermione say?”

“She’s in on it. She’ll back them up.” George’s eyebrows went up. “Angelina said Hermione asked her about us.”

“Merlin. What did she say?”

Lee smiled ruefully. “Apparently something about, Do they even know they fancy each other or are they as blind as boys usually are about this sort of thing?”

George laughed. Lee’d gotten Hermione’s waspish voice down fairly well. Then he frowned. “Blimey. Do Harry and Ron know?”

Lee snorted. “Please. Harry and Ron don’t even know that Hermione fancies Ron.”

“It’s tragic, it is,” said George. “Even we know that.” He took a deep breath. “So our girls, plus Hermione, are all plotting to give us time alone.” He held Lee’s gaze. “And you’d like to take them up on it.”

“We owe it to House morale, George,” said Lee.

George chuckled, and suddenly felt almost dizzy with anticipation. “Why not. Bloody hell, why not.” He kissed Lee, feeling a bubbling laugh in his chest.

Lee kissed him back passionately, then broke off and beamed at him, his eyes bright with amusement and desire. “Bloody hell, I’m going to do a Weasley.” He pulled him back and snogged him breathless.

And it was so easy after that, to go back to the girls and announce that they were taking them up on their plan. The shock on their faces was hilarious, as was the way Katie’s shock turned to avid interest. And then they were pretending to get ready for bed, chatting idly with Kenneth and Garett, and Fred was giving them a thumbs-up and whispering something absolutely filthy to Lee, and then Lee got up to go to the loo and Angelina came in - really if you knew it was her it was obvious, but Kenneth and Garett weren't exactly paying attention - and a few moments later George went too and they passed Katie and then they were hurrying to the Room of Requirement, and George stifled a hysterical giggle at the fact that here he was, pacing back and forth, thinking to himself, “I need a place where I can shag Lee’s brains out” - and then the door swung open.

Not bad. The Room had provided them with a wide bed with what George noticed out of the corner of his eye were somewhat garish red and gold covers, plenty of candles with a sort of a floral scent, a soft background of The Weird Sisters doing a cover of Celestina Warbeck’s A Cauldron of Love, and probably all sorts of other details that would’ve made for a very romantic atmosphere if they’d noticed a single one of them. But they were too busy, kissing for all they were worth, pulling their clothing off, getting as close as they could. Skin on skin. Mouths hungry for one another.

“Merlin, Lee,” George gasped once they were bare and pressed together on the bed and he didn't know just what he'd expected but it hadn't been this, because this was bloody brilliant and there was no way he was daft enough to have just been patient enough to simply wait and be content with kissing and occasional frotting if he'd had any idea of what he was missing. He said as much, frantically in between kisses, and had to pause while Lee laughed at him.

“What? Stop laughing, you wanker,” he muttered, pressing himself urgently against Lee. He was on fire, damn it, and his stupid boyfriend was stopping to have a giggle.

“Can't help it, mate,” chuckled Lee. He took George's lips with his again and they thrust against each other, and then George reached down and grasped him.

“D'you want to... I dunno, do something with this?” he asked, suddenly unaccountably shy.

“Well that’s smooth,” said Lee, and propped himself up on an elbow. He cleared his throat. “Erm, I want to do quite a bit with this,” said Lee, his Adam's apple bobbing. “But we haven't talked about who's going to do what to who and with which.”

“Think you're going to put this inside me,” said George impulsively, and grinned at Lee's nervous expression. “It'll be fine, mate, if Fred could figure out what to do with Angelina surely we can--”

“Dunno if you're aware of this but women come with slightly more accessible equipment. I don't want to hurt you--”

“Are you a wizard, or what?” asked George. “We're in a Room of Requirement. He turned to their bedside table. And lo and behold, wonder of wonders, lube. “Lets see: strawberry, vanilla, pumpkin and wormwort. Ugh. Since I'm the one getting this inside me, I'm going to go traditional and pick strawberry.”

“Yeah I hear strawberry flavour is absolutely the traditional lube for first-time buggering,” said Lee, rolling his eyes. “All the virginal queer wizards get this up their arses. I'm sure the Headmistress would agree.”

“If you're going to mention that woman near bed, this may never get off the ground,” George pointed out.

They didn't say much for the next few minutes, letting their lips and tongues and fingers do the talking for them, until finally George lay back, his entire body awake and eager and yearning.

“Please,” he said, his voice sounding husky to his own ears. “Please.”

Lee bit his lip and covered him, and George tried to relax, but there was some fumbling and it was a little ridiculous - and then somehow both of them were laughing as Lee entered him. And it was everything he'd been hoping for. Somewhat uncomfortable, though not actually painful, and the feeling of closeness was unbelievable.

“Move,” he said, and Lee obliged. It was a heady feeling, emotion and physical sensation and everything piled together, and he wanted to laugh out loud but could barely breathe, everything so taut and overwhelming-

And yet somehow so easy. So amazing, both of them moving together, reaching for completion together...

What the hell had they been waiting for? went through George’s mind randomly at some point. And then all extraneous thought went away as Lee cried out above him, and George felt his own climax sweep over him in a rush and cried out with Lee.


April 5

”You know the girls will want full details,” said George a few hours later as they hurried down the dark hallways. His body was still almost humming, pleasantly worn out, a bit of discomfort here and there but mostly just a good all-over ache.

“Maybe I don’t want to give them full details,” said Lee. He pulled George close, kissing him, and George’s lips tingled. “I’ll help Katie with her Potions homework instead.”

“Not going to shag and tell?”

“Not a chance,” said Lee, and brushed his lips against George’s, and--

“Good morning, boys,” said Dumbledore.

George and Lee jumped, twisting around wildly. There was the old coot, smiling gently at them. George suddenly realized they were still holding each other, and dropped Lee’s arms as if they scalded him. How much had Dumbledore -- had he seen -- oh bollocks--

“And where are you two headed this fine morning?”

“Uh, back to - we were--” Lee’s legendary glibness appeared to have utterly deserted him, and George could not for the life of him think of an adequate story.

This was ridiculous. Dumbledore was no stranger to bending the rules. But this was different, this was...

“You didn’t spend the night in Gryffindor,” said Dumbledore.

“We weren’t doing anything wrong,” said Lee hastily.

Dumbledore’s eyebrows went up and his lips twitched.

“I mean, not against the rules,” George offered. “...other than the part about not being in the Tower.”

Dumbledore smiled again. “I’m well aware of your disregard for the rules, boys. The three of you seem to see them as suggestions only.”

“Fred - er, Fred wasn’t with us, because, erm--”

“I doubt your brother would’ve been welcome to participate with the two of you,” said Dumbledore. “Times may have changed since my youth but I’m under the impression that what you were up to is not generally something that lends itself to three participants. Particularly if two of them are related...”

George’s mouth dropped open.

“...though I suppose I shouldn’t presume to judge,” Dumbledore finished.

Lee cleared his throat and caught George’s eye, and George guessed from the heat in his face that he was about as red as he ever got.

“Gentlemen, at ease,” said Dumbledore. “I am not about to tell anybody what you’ve been up to.” He raised his eyebrows. “My goodness, you do look as though you’ve just swallowed an earwax-flavoured Bernie Botts,” he remarked, and George wasn’t imagining it, the old coot was laughing at them, his blue eyes twinkling with amusement.

Lee gestured vaguely. “Sorry, sir. Didn’t expect somebody your age to, erm...”

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned at my age, it’s that life is short, gentlemen. I commend you for your ability to live it to the fullest.” He paused. “Not all of us have been old all our lives,” he added gently. “Some of us do remember our own youth.”

George swallowed.

“This is also where I suppose I should tell you it gets better,” Dumbledore mused.

“Does it?” asked George faintly.

Dumbledore thought for a moment. “I suppose it depends on the choices you make. Well, good night, boys. Or rather, good morning.”

He walked off down the corridor, leaving George and Lee still gaping after him.

After a moment, Lee cleared his throat. “Did he just imply that he...”

“Oi, I don’t really want to imagine what Dumbledore got up to when he was a boy. Do you?”

They headed back to the dormitory in silence.

“He does have rather fabulous robes,” Lee pointed out as they neared Gryffindor Tower.

“Yeah, because that’s always a dead giveaway,” said George. Lee glanced at their own plain, threadbare robes and snorted, and they hurried back to their House, slipping through the empty common room.

“Wait - how do we get the girls out of our room?” asked George, a little put off that he hadn’t actually thought about it before this exact moment. Lee grinned at him and took out his DA Galleon with a flourish.

“Mischief managed,” he murmured, and the Galleon glowed. “Angelina and I worked this out. Hers is spelled to wake her up when I do that.”


“That’s our girl.”

They waited a few moments and Lee pulled George close, lips brushing the top of his head and fingers of one hand going through his hair.

Bloody hell, that had been fantastic. They had to arrange to do that again. Often. For a moment he seriously considered just coming out to Kenneth and Garett so they could shag in their own beds every night, with the curtains drawn -- but no, that was insane, the uneasy co-existence between them had only become more strained as the year went on, it would be...

He held Lee, breathing in deeply, reflecting that it was so strange to feel so incredibly connected to anyone who wasn’t Fred. It often felt like Lee was like an extension of him, in much the same way that Fred was, and it felt comfortable and mate-like - until it didn’t. Until they’d just sort of catch fire together, and his skin would itch to hold Lee closer and feel all of him, breathe him in, revel in him...

He rested his head on Lee’s shoulder, patiently waiting for Angelina and Katie, perfectly blissed out, not really thinking of anything until they heard a soft throat-clearing.

“Hem hem,” said Angelina, and Lee and George shook with laughter - there was really no way Angelina would ever be mistaken for that horrible toad. They looked up at her and Katie, standing at the door of the common room, smiling at them both.

“I was going to ask if it went well,” said Angelina, “but judging from your daft smiles I don’t think I have to. And I’d better get Katie back to her bed or she’ll ask you every detail.” She grabbed Katie’s sleeve and dragged her off to the girls’ dorms, Katie grinning at them over her shoulder and giving them an enthusiastic thumbs-up.

They slipped back into their own dorm. George lay down on his bed, not bothering to try to sleep - they’d cut it rather close, Garett and Kenneth were generally up fairly early - and it wasn’t even ten minutes before both were stirring.

He and Lee pretended to wake up, and the room was filled with the regular morning bustle of five boys getting ready for the day, Garett and Kenneth with brisk efficiency and George, Fred and Lee with a number of stops and starts, as they waited impatiently for their roommates to leave.

Finally Garett and Kenneth were off, heading for breakfast while the three of them hung back, ostensibly to make some observations over their latest Jelly Legs Potion.

“How did it go?” asked Fred, glancing over his results from the last test - they really did need to get over the oozing side effect.

“Fine,” said George.

“Think you may need to do it again, Lee,” said Fred, amused. “Fine? That’s all you have to say?”

Lee gave him a good-natured two-finger salute as he headed off for the bathroom. George started to change his shirt.

“You’re all right, right?” said Fred after a moment.

“Yeah?” said George, poking his head out of his shirt.

Fred smiled. “You’re dead gone over him.”

George swallowed. “Maybe.” He pulled the shirt down.

“And... where am I in all of this?”


“We’re still moving out together after school, right?” said Fred, and he was waving his wand over the potion and sounding... uncertain.

“What?” George approached him. “Fred, we talked about this.”

“Yeah, months ago,” said Fred, not looking at him. “Before you’d shagged him.” He made a notation on his parchment.

“That changes everything, does it?” asked George.

“Dunno, mate,” said Fred. “You tell me.”

George stared at Fred for a moment, then cuffed him on the side of the head.

“Don’t be a twat,” he said firmly, and Fred grinned at him.

And it really didn’t change anything, he thought to himself during the day, even though there were a few moments when he couldn’t help but feel a bit of a thrill every time he thought of what they had done together the night before. They were both exhausted (”Utterly shagged out,” Fred kept saying, to the combined sniggers of the girls) but Merlin it had been worth it.

He’d almost fallen asleep in Herbology and had fallen asleep in History, but then, History was supposed to be for naps so that was all right. By the time they got to their DA meeting at the end of the day, he was feeling a second bout of energy - enough to pull Lee into an abandoned room right before the meeting, and kiss him thoroughly.

And then the lesson was about Patronuses - and he and Lee got theirs going right away.

Fred raised an eyebrow and muttered, “Wonder what you two are thinking about?” George elbowed him as he watched his baboon Patronus gambol about, teasing Lee’s mockingbird.

His heart felt like bursting. This was real joy, despite the hideous old bat who now practically ran their school, with her stupid rules and stupid Hem hem hemming. He turned to Fred, grinning widely as Fred finally got a corporeal form - another baboon! what a shock! - and beamed at it, laughing as it joined George and Lee’s Patronus forms.

Joy was something you could snatch out of nowhere, George thought as happiness vibrated through him, as he and his twin and his lover thumbed their noses at the old bitch, knowing she couldn’t do a bloody thing about any of it. She didn’t even know about what George and Lee had done, she didn’t know Fred and their friends had helped - just like she didn’t know about the DA.

...which was right when they found out that yes, the joyless old hag had somehow found out about the DA.

In the aftermath of Dobby the house elf’s shocking warning, as all of the DA tried to run and most of them succeeded, George found himself filled with both terror and reckless glee. It felt almost good after so long hiding, to be about to be confronted. So what if they were kicked out. So what if they were arrested. They were done with this skulking about, being afraid of their own shadows.

“I’d say this makes eventual expulsion a little likelier, doesn’t it?” said Fred after the danger was over and all the Gryffindor members of the DA had made their way to their House except for Harry, amid reports of the Ministry arriving at the school and other alarming rumours. Fred, George and Lee had unceremoniously kicked Garett and Kenneth out of their dorm, and brought the girls in.

“What d’you mean?” asked Alicia.

“We decided after Lee’s hand that if we got kicked out, so be it,” said Fred. “And we weren’t going to fight particularly hard to stay. I’d say this makes it more of a certainty, wouldn’t you?”

“Mum’s going to do her nut if we get expelled,” George pointed out.

“We’d be gone already if you two weren’t having wild sex all over the school,” said Fred.

“They are not having wild sex all over the place,” Angelina said scornfully. “It took all of us working together for them to do more than snog, even once.”

“Details,” said Fred.

Lee took George’s hand in his. “It’s pretty inevitable, mate,” he said. “You’re going to leave. I know it. And you’re going to go with a bang, not a whimper.”

“Though speaking of banging and whimpering, are you sure you won’t want to come with us when we go?” asked Fred.

Lee laughed. “Will I want to? Absolutely. Not going to, though, unless I’ve got no choice. You two are the chaos-makers; I’m the voice of the people.” He gave George a quick kiss. “I’ll join you when school’s over.” He took out a piece of parchment and looked around at the gathered group. “Now. The Ministry’s apparently here. I would not be surprised if Dumbledore gets sacked. If there’s any justice in the world, McGonagall will be our new Headmistress--” a chorus of cynical snorts greeted this, “but we all know who’s going to be put in charge instead.” He grinned. “How can we make her tenure begin with the appropriate pomp and circumstance?”


April 6

It was going to be brilliant, thought George at one point the next morning as he and Fred and Lee rushed through their final preparations. The fireworks were going to be a smashing success, the spells they’d put on them to counteract what Umbridge was likely to do to get rid of them were hysterical, and the only downside was that they were going to use up their entire stock.

It would bloody well be worth it, though, as they hurried down an empty hall to their first classes. Impulsively he grabbed Lee and gave him a resounding kiss, waving a two-fingered salute at Fred as Fred made a rude noise and muttered something about ‘randy bastards with no sense of decorum or timing,’ and he let go of Lee and grabbed his hand to continue on their way to Charms--

And stopped short at the sight of Graham Montague, a hulking Slytherin Chaser, standing at the door of the almost invariably empty third floor storage room.


“What’s this?” Montague looked down at their linked hands and an incredulous sneer slipped over his face. “You two? Really?”

“What do you want, Montague?” said Fred.

“The Headmistress is going to be very interested in this,” Montague crowed. “I’ve always thought you twins were completely unnatural.” He smirked. “I would’ve bet you were buggering each other, but this is almost as good.”

“Montague, stuff it,” said George, setting his jaw and clenching Lee’s hand tighter in his own.

“Actually, do you still bugger each other?” Montague asked, glancing from Fred to George. “Does Jordan go into a Weasley sandwich?”

“You’re thinking about this a lot, aren’t you?” said Lee.

“Don’t you start, Jordan,” Montague sneered. “I know you - you want to be a big famous star, you think you’ll go into radio work - well what wireless is going to hire you if you’re tossed out of school for morality crimes?”

“What are you on about?” said Lee. “There’s no decree against snogging a boy, you twat.”

“Not yet, but you can bet our Headmistress will get one up soon enough.”

“She’s already got boys and girls twelve inches apart at all times; what’s she going to do? Enforce a bubble around everyone?”

Montague ignored him. “And you’re a pureblood, Weasley,” said Montague, scorn dripping from every pore and suddenly George remembered - Montague was one of those half-blood Slytherins who tried with all their might to pretend they were purebloods, but old Auntie Muriel had a mind like a steel trap and had once pointed out Montague’s embarrassing Muggle-born grandmother. “A pureblood, with no respect for your blood or your heritage--”

“Montague, leave off,” said George, shoving past him. Suddenly Montague was holding a wand on all three of them, and sadistic gleam in his eye.

“Not so fast. I’m taking points off you.”

“What for, you stupid arse?”

“Sodomy and disgusting lack of morals. Filth and perversion.”

George felt his stomach turn at Montague’s filthy spittle-flecked lips, at the way he was glaring at them - and he suddenly dropped his gaze to Montague’s crotch.

Hang on. Was Montague maybe a little... interested?

He looked back at Montague and had to suppress a giggle. Poor bastard. With a small grin at Lee, he pulled him closer. “Go with it,” he whispered into Lee’s ear, and then nuzzled behind a dreadlock. “I’m sorry, Montague, what were you saying?” he drawled, then pressed a small kiss to Lee’s neck.

“Stop that!” sputtered Montague.

“Stop what?” Lee relaxed into George’s arms and pressed himself closer. He brushed his lips over George’s cheek, then smiled at Montague.

“What are you doing?!”

“Oi, mate, I know they don’t grow them bright in Slytherin but I think it’s pretty obvious,” said Fred, as Lee turned and caught George’s lips with his own.

“Stop that!” Now Montague’s voice was rising up a notch. George suppressed a snigger and kept snogging.

“Mm, don’t think they’re going to,” said Fred. “They’re animals. You should see - well I mean, obviously you wouldn’t want to, but you should see what they’re like once they get going. We’ve tried to stop them, to no avail, I’m afraid. Once they start this they’re buggering within minutes. Pants down, against the wall, on the couch - Gryffindor Common Room’s a mighty uncomfortable place these days, I tell you--”

“They do it in public?!” Montague croaked, and George spared a glance at him from where he and Lee were groping each other - though no, Fred, they weren’t about to bugger each other right now, ugh - and almost choked on his laughter. Montague was staring in horrified fascination, his Adam’s apple bobbing, his face beet-red.

He went back to Lee’s mouth, throwing caution to the wind and moaning appreciatively as Montague’s voice rose, and it was ridiculous, he and Lee were going to start laughing at any moment--

“Oi, Weasley, what the--” George broke off the kiss and turned to see Montague starting to levitate and scrambling for his wand. George grabbed his own wand - thank you, Harry, for suggesting easy access in case of attack - and flicked it at Montague.

“Expelliarmus!” he said, and caught Montague’s wand. Behind him, Lee was muttering a spell that opened the door of an ugly cabinet right behind Montague.

“You disgusting poofters, I’ll take points off all of you, that’s fifty from you, W--” and then Fred flicked his wand and Montague turned upside down, and George swished his own and sent him sailing into the cabinet. Lee slammed the door shut and Fred grinned.

“Don’t think he’ll be able to get out of there, do you?”

“Not without his wand,” said George, snapping it in half and sending it sailing into a rubbish bin in the hallway.

There was thumping from the cabinet, then silence. Fred frowned. “Hang on...” he opened the door. The cabinet was empty. “Lee, you beautiful bastard.”

“What?” said George.

“This is a Vanishing Cabinet,” said Fred.

Lee peered at it more closely. “Fuck me, so it is.”

George laughed. “So he could be... anywhere, then? London, Tottenham...”

“Outer Mongolia for all we know,” said Lee with savage pleasure. “And no wand.”

“So when he gets back he’ll have more on his mind than taking off points - or telling the world about you two,” said Fred.

“Vanishing Cabinets are supposed to be hellishly confusing if you don’t know you’re going into one of them,” said Lee. “He’ll have trouble remembering his own name for a day or so. If he remembers we pushed him in, we’ll just say we didn’t know it was a Vanishing Cabinet and were trying to get away with sneaking around.”

“We’ll get in trouble.”

“I don’t give a fuck,” said Lee. “That bastard was going to expose us, just for jollies.”

They headed back to their House, and George tried and failed to worry about Montague’s fate. He deserved whatever the hell happened to him. That vindictive, hateful sneer, the way he’d gleefully wanted to destroy Lee...

He grabbed Lee’s hand a little harder. This was no time to think about Montague. This was time to think about their upcoming debut, and - if they weren’t caught and expelled right away - the reign of terror they were going to subject Umbridge to until they were.

It was going to be brilliant.


May 4

”Well, that’s that,” said Fred a month later, putting down the last of the whiz-bangs.

“I can’t believe you’re doing this,” said Angelina. “You arses.”

“Oi, don’t insult genius,” said Fred. “And don’t make us sorry we told you.”

Angelina rolled her eyes. Days after Ginny had asked them for help, they’d decided to bring her into the plan. Lee had been involved, of course, but they needed more than just him for some of what they were planning, and Angelina had always been a good sport.

“You’re geniuses, never said you weren’t,” Angelina shot back. “Doesn’t take away from the fact that you’re a pair of wankers.”

George grinned at her tiredly. They’d worked overtime to get ready fast enough to help Harry, but they were going out with a hell of a bang. The swamp was nothing but a tiny portable puddle, but they’d tested it several times and it should expand to a respectable size. Might even need a boat to get from one side to the other. The fireworks were even more spectacular than the ones that had greeted Umbridge’s Headmistresship. There were some lovely stinkbombs, too.

This was it. This was really it. They would never be able to get away with this. And so close to the end of the year, too.

To be fair, they’d stayed a lot longer than they’d thought when Umbridge first came to power, expecting expulsion at any moment and getting more and more reckless, though they’d taken time off during the Easter holiday. But what they were going to do today... this would be the end, surely.

It would be worth, it though. Except for leaving Lee behind.

“You know the girls are going to hate you for not telling them,” said Angelina.

“Katie and Alicia don’t need to get into even more trouble,” said Fred.

“And your place is ready?”

“We’re flying straight from here to the new premises. It’s fully stocked, the lease is signed...”

“Lee’s room is waiting for him when he finally gets out of here,” said George.

“Your Mum’s going to go spare,” said Angelina.

Fred shrugged. “She’ll get over it.”

George drew Lee away as Angelina continued to berate Fred. They were leaving, they were really leaving, and the next time he saw Lee they wouldn’t be fellow students any more.

He kissed Lee. “Just so you know, I’m telling Dad about us. After he’s done being apoplectic that we’ve cut off our education.”

“You sure?” said Lee.

“He’ll understand. Mum might take a little longer.”

Lee swallowed and looked away.

“You know I’m not pushing you to tell your folks, right?” asked George. Lee wouldn’t meet his eyes. “I’m really not. You decide what you want to do, and when. I’ll be fine.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.”

Lee looked down. “I feel like a bloody coward, is all. Keep wondering where my Inner Gryffindor’s gone, and--”

“Your parents aren’t like ours,” said George. “Besides, I don’t care who knows what. It’s the three of us together forever and as long as we know that, I’m all right.”

“What if we decide a radio personality or business owner really can’t be open in the wizarding world?” Lee asked quietly. “We’re up against a lot of tradition. We can’t even - did you know that you can’t even have father’s rights if you’re not married to the mother of your child? George, what if this is as good as it gets?”

George gave him a wry grin. “So we’re talking marriage and children now?” He squeezed Lee’s arm. “So what? Even if we have to marry other people for official purposes, maybe we can marry very open-minded witches, I don’t care. I’ll take it. And who knows, some day things might be different.”

“If I’m around, someday is going to come a lot faster, I’ll tell you that much,” said Fred, butting in. “Nobody’s putting my brother in a bloody closet for life.”

“Leave off, Fred,” said Angelina. “And remember, no pulling George between you. Because that’s not on.” She looked at their fireworks, their swamp, all the things they’d planned, and gave them a grin. “This is going to be brilliant.”

Brilliant, yeah. Him and Fred, flying out in a blaze of glory.

Leaving Lee behind.

When had the main focus of his thoughts gone from Fred to Lee?

Lee pulled him close and held him for a long moment. George closed his eyes, breathing in his scent, his warmth.

Lee rubbed George’s cheek lightly with his own. “You should know that I hate you a lot right now,” he murmured, his voice a little unsteady, then let go of him and stepped back. “Both of you. Abandoning bastards.”

“Come with us,” said George, one last time.

Lee shook his head. “No. It’s going to be awful here without you, but I’ll send you dirty limericks by owl.”

“I’ll open them,” said Fred.

Lee rolled his eyes. “I’m sure you will. Now, you’re sure your brooms will respond to an Accio?”

“Doesn’t matter,” said Angelina. “If they don’t, they can take mine and Katie’s. I’ll square it with her; she won’t mind.”

They both looked at Lee, and reached out for him at the same time, enveloping him in a three-person hug - and then Fred reached out for Angelina and all four of them held each other tightly, friendship and loyalty and love giving them all strength and bloody hell, George thought, with this kind of power, they were invincible, the lot of them.

Finally Fred chuckled and loosened his grip on them and it was like a signal, pulling them all back to themselves.

George gave Lee one last squeeze and stepped back.

“All right,” said Fred. “Ready George?”

He nodded. “Ready, Fred.”

This was it. Time to leave Hogwarts with a bang, not a whimper.


May 10

(Unsigned owl delivered to Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes, Number 93 Diagon Alley)

Well, I was right, mates. It’s dismal here without you two. I’m not sorry I decided to stay back, but I must say it’s not the same school without you. I can’t even get up the spirit to turn this owl into a dirty limerick.

It’s worth it to be here, though. I’m emotionally depressed and sexually frustrated, but professionally thrilled. The stories of courage and rebellion and general derring-do at this school are priceless and more than I could have imagined on my own. I’m gathering information and making connections like a fiend.

You should know that your little escapade made quite an impression. The student body now calls it “doing a Weasley.” I suspect our female friends of putting that out into the general vernacular just to frustrate me.

It’s just a few more weeks, though. I’ll be with you two soon. And you’ll pardon me, Fred, but you’ll have to spend the first few hours of my arrival at a friend’s house, as my priority is simple: I’m going to do a Weasley of my own.

I love you. See you soon.
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