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annafugazziPairing(s): George/Luna, hints of George/Angelina and George/Hermione, but mostly Gen.
Rating: R
Summary: Nobody expected the year after Fred's death would be easy. But nobody expected George would have to lose so much, just to live through it. Or: George is doing his best to make his way after the war and Fred's death. Everyone is trying to help, and he wishes they would just stop. Especially Fred.
Warnings: Angst, suicide issues, and occasional inappropriate humour.
Author Note: Thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
twistedm, tree00faery, and vanseedee for beta above and beyond the call of friendship.
Right, so I was going to just post the last chapter and sort-of-epilogue, but then remembered the last time I did a double post, two people were rather miffed at me because they read the second post before the first one or... something. Anyway, Epilogue gets posted Friday :)
Part 1, Hogwarts
Part 2, The Burrow
Part 3, Wheezes
Part 4, St. Mungo's
Part 5, You Can't Go Home Again
Part 6, Christmas Cheer
Part 7a, Rock Bottom
Part 7b, Rock Bottom
Part 8, Lethe
Part 9, Severance
March (ctd)
The shop was doing well, thought Lee as he opened the door and was assaulted by Wheezes' general din and mayhem. He glanced around and spotted George in a middle aisle simultaneously straightening up a shelf, complimenting a small child who had sprouted fairy wings, and chatting with Mrs. Weasley, as the shop buzzed and whirred full-tilt around him.
George also seemed to be doing well. He was fully in control of the shop again, interacting easily with customers and with Verity, Naomi, and the new clerk, and not allowing his occasional memory blanks - or customers' references to Fred - to bother him, as far as anyone could tell.
"Don't you have a Healer's appointment today?" Mrs. Weasley was asking him as Lee approached.
George waved a quick hello to Lee, and checked his watch. "Yeah, in half an hour. Was thinking of cancelling it, though - I've still got to put up Angelina's thing in the display case, and the latest batch of Jumpy Jiggle Jellies isn't coming together all that well."
"George, please," said Mrs. Weasley.
"All right, Mum," he said patiently, gave her a kiss, and hurried to the lab door. "Oi, Ron! Can you watch the Jigglies for me?"
"Can't!" Ron's voice called back. "I'm still cross-eyed from the Eye Sore Sours!"
"Bugger." George turned to Lee. "Lee! Can you watch my Jigglies?"
Lee nodded, bemused. "Sounds a bit naughty, so I'm game. What do I watch for?"
"Anything green is bad, anything that smells like pumpkin tart is good."
Lee nodded. "No problem. What about green pumpkin tart?"
"Green pumpkin tart? Erm... leave. Leave immediately, and cast a containment spell on the lab." George paused, thinking. "On second thought, no, just write it down and see if you can take a picture. Unless... no, never mind. Just leave, and evacuate the building." Another pause. "Best tell the neighbours to clear out too."
Lee gaped as George started to hurry off towards the window display. "George!"
"What?"
"You can't be serious, mate!" he said. George raised an eyebrow. "Ah. Right." Lee gave him a rude gesture and George chuckled. "Prat." Lee and Mrs. Weasley exchanged a look of amused exasperation, and Lee followed George to the window as Mrs. Weasley went to help the delighted little fairy-winged boy find his parents.
"What's this?" asked Lee, as he made his way past a small pile of blue and white boxes with large brains painted on the sides, the words Edible Intellect! emblazoned in silver on top.
"Hello, Lee," said Angelina, peering out from behind the boxes.
"Study aids," said George, arranging the boxes into two precarious towers. "For OWL and NEWT students. You know they always get sold grotty gecko eggs or bat dung, and they're willing to eat the most horrifying things. I brewed up some of Angelina's old Smartie Pants Potions and made them taste good."
"They tasted perfectly fine before!" she protested.
"They tasted like dishwater," said George. "Don't complain about the innovation that's making these sell faster than I can brew them."
"Do they work?" asked Lee.
George paused in the middle of casting a spell to keep the first tower upright. "What? Of course they work! I don't do false advertising!"
Lee shook his head. "No, no of course not - only I thought maybe they might be some sort of joke."
George looked at him askance. "For study aids? Yeah, because kids would naturally find it hilarious to fail their OWLs and NEWTs? Give me some credit. No, they work just fine. Guaranteed to increase your retention or your money back."
"And they're selling well?"
"Started out slow, but it's picked up," said Angelina, finishing off the second tower and casting a spell to keep it from tumbling down.
"People probably thought it was a joke at first."
"Probably," said George. "But their effects speak for themselves, and they taste brilliant. I've got them in chocolate, coconut, and lemon flavour."
Lee smiled slightly.
"What?"
Lee shook his head. "Nothing."
"What is it?"
"Nothing, I said."
George blew out his breath and started to make a bridge of boxes between the first tower and the next.
"Why?" said Lee.
"You've got that 'I've just remembered something about Fred and I think it'll be awkward look' about you," George replied curtly.
Angelina dropped a small figure bearing a marked resemblance to a Hogwarts professor and cursed under her breath, and Lee took a beat to compose himself. "Erm, yeah, you're right." He shrugged. "Nothing huge. Only Fred hated coconut. You never had anything coconut flavoured in your products."
George grimaced. "That's it?"
"Erm, sorry... be right back," Angelina mumbled. "Forgot the bag of student figures."
George shook his head, annoyed, as she left. "This really gets on my nerves, Jordan," he said.
Lee swallowed. "I... I know. I'm sorry. None of us means to do it. It just happens."
"Yeah."
"It's not easy for us, yeah? We're doing our best."
"Yeah, and it's dead easy for me," said George sarcastically. He finished positioning the bridge, and carefully placed a professor doll on it, waving his wand to animate it.
"Look, it's easier than it was," said Lee. "Trust me on that one."
"George?" said Ginny, walking into the window display. "Aren't you done with that yet? Mum says you have a Healer's appointment."
"Help us put the professors and students on the display and I'll be off," he said.
"This is bollocks, you know," she said. "It's my weekend off and what am I doing? Pressed into my brother's shop for indentured servitude."
"Go help Angelina find the student doll bag," said George, picking up a doll with an uncanny similarity to McGonagall and placing it on the bridge. "It's somewhere in the lab, I think."
Lee smiled as Ginny gave George a good-natured eye roll and walked off. Ginny had been distinctly uncomfortable with George since the treatment; it was nice that she seemed to be trying, at least.
"You know, this McGonagall doll is very realistic," said Lee, placing another figure. "Are the dolls for sale?"
"No, they're just for show," said George. He placed another professor doll, and Lee thought he recognized the walrus-mustached professor who had taken over Potions after they'd both left Hogwarts. "Is it really easier?" he asked.
"What?"
"Easier than dealing with this type of thing, for you lot? Angelina doing a disappearing act, you getting all uncomfortable, just because I made a bloody coconut-flavoured potion?"
Lee sighed and placed mini-Sprout on the bridge. "Yeah. It is." They placed a few more figures on the bridge, and then George placed one onto one of the stacks, animating it to make it look like it was climbing.
"So you're glad I did it?"
Lee made himself nod. He was. Really. If this was what George had needed to do, it was worth it.
And all right, maybe 'glad' wasn't the right word, but it wasn't worth getting bogged down in semantics.
"Would Fred have agreed?" George asked.
"I don't know," said Lee uncomfortably. "I mean... on the one hand, he believed in not taking the easy way out." He placed a doll on the other tower. "But he also wasn't terribly sentimental, so he might've said Go for it, mate, if it saves your life." He paused. "Especially since you didn't take the easy way out. You really went through hell, for so long... you tried so fucking hard to cope, and it just wasn't going to happen."
"D'you ever wish I hadn't?" asked George, carefully positioning a diminutive Professor Flitwick.
Lee took a deep breath. "George. You'd be dead. Or nearly dead. And I got tired of seeing you that way, mate." He shook his head. "It hurt like hell. We all wanted to take the pain for you, so badly. It was like a punch in the gut, every single time." He animated another doll. "You did the right thing. If it hurt me that much just to see it, imagine what it was like for your parents. Your brothers, your sister. Yourself."
"I keep thinking it was pretty selfish of me," said George. "Feels like it's hurt everybody."
"Better than losing you," said Lee firmly. "And there's no point second-guessing it, either. The important thing is that you made your choice. We all have to respect that. Including you."
George nodded thoughtfully, looking up as Ginny and Angelina came back.
"And I think Fred would've said it wasn't worth it," Lee finished. "Hanging on to his memory if it was going to kill you."
"Though he might have said life is only worth living on your own terms," Ginny said, her voice tight as she knelt down to start placing smaller figures on the bridge. Lee glared at her. Amazing how, among all the Weasleys, only their dad and Bill seemed to grasp the concept of ever knowing when to keep their opinions to themselves.
"I'll never know, will I?" George said slowly.
"I think the point is that you needed to make up your own mind," said Lee.
"What was my own mind, though? I can't even imagine making the decision, and supposedly I'm the one who did it." He shook his head, annoyed.
Lee reflected that it was funny – but not really – how he didn't like introspection any more than old George and Fred did. Though he was at least a bit better at it.
"I think that's done it," said George, placing the last student and waving a wand to animate the entire display.
"I really think people are going to want to buy the professors, too," said Lee, watching the professors chase the students over the bridge and up and down the towers, waving long scrolls at them. "Especially McGonagall. Think we can make her animate little desks?"
George grinned. "That'd be brilliant. She might not think so, though. Maybe next year, when Ginny's not in school any more."
"Have to hit the market, you know," said Lee. "Everyone still remembers her doing that. They might not, next year."
"Luna! Hello!" Ginny called out, and Lee turned to see Luna Lovegood standing at the entrance to the shop.
George turned and smiled. "Luna!" he said, standing up, and Luna flinched. He started to approach her, but stopped as she put up a hand and backed away.
"No. You're really not the George I knew before," said Luna. She turned on her heel, but Ginny reached out to stop her.
"Luna?" said George, cautiously coming closer to her. "What's wrong?"
"You don't remember," said Luna, a hard expression in her normally dreamy eyes.
"I remember," said George slowly, frowning. "I remember being with you. I don't remember where, though."
"I'd always thought you weren't that interested in girls," she said, and now Lee was completely lost, and if Ginny and Angelina's expressions were any indication, so were they. "Not as much as Fred was."
George looked away. "I wouldn't know."
"You're not who I knew in school."
"You're not much like how I remember you either," said George.
"And you're nothing like the George I fucked."
Ginny's eyes grew round and Lee felt his jaw drop.
"And you're nothing like the Luna I knew before the war," said Angelina, stepping forward. "Look, I don't know what happened between you two, but George doesn't deserve this from you. You know what happened at St. Mungo's. Why can't you accept George as he is now?"
Luna gave her a scornful look and stalked out the door. And after a moment, Ginny followed her.
ooo000ooo
Arthur walked into the bedroom and found Molly crying on their bed, again. He sighed and went to her, hugging her close.
"What is it, love?" he said gently.
Molly shook her head. "Nothing," she said, sobbing into his chest.
"Come on now. How can I help if I don't know what's wrong?"
"There's nothing wrong. George was here earlier. With Lee. They're doing so well. I think...I think that maybe... never mind."
"You think something about George and Lee?"
"Never mind, it's not important." Molly wiped her eyes.
"Is this because of George's birthday coming up?" asked Arthur.
"That's part of it."
"He's doing so much better, though."
"He is, I know." She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes. "He really is."
Arthur hesitated. "Have you noticed that he's not as bothered by mentions of Fred as he was?"
Molly nodded.
"It's good, I think," he said. "That he's accepting this."
"I know."
"I was thinking, I think we should also do something in honour of Fred. At the birthday party."
Molly blanched, and Arthur felt a pang of guilt.
"I'm sorry, Molly, I'm sorry. I only thought..." He trailed off. Nobody talked about Fred any more. It was far too painful. Before, when George could remember, they could at least talk about Fred when he wasn't there. They could at least take comfort in knowing that in many ways, Fred still lived on, in George - though of course none of them had realized how literal that was. Now...
"Nobody will want that," said Molly. "They all avoid any mention of Fred, if they can."
Arthur nodded. "I know, love. It's probably for the best, though."
"Fred deserves better from us," said Molly, her voice hollow. "It wasn't his fault, that what happened with his magic and George's--"
"It wasn't his fault. None of it was. It wasn't his fault he was next to that wall either. And it wasn't Percy's fault he told that joke, and it wasn't our fault that we asked George to come home, and it wasn't George's fault that he didn't understand what was going on and couldn't make us let him stay at Hogwarts." Arthur caught his breath. "It's nobody's fault, Molly. It just happened. We have to deal with what happened, and if letting go of Fred's memory is the only way to do that... I know Fred would be the first to say that's what we should do too."
Molly shivered.
"Molly, please. I know Ginny's still angry at George for choosing this, and it's not what any of us expected, but I think George knew that Fred wouldn't have wanted him to die just to keep his memory alive."
Molly shook her head.
"We just have to make the best of this," Arthur continued doggedly. "Make the best of what we have, and treasure George because he's still with us. He may not be the same as before, but at least he's alive."
Molly nodded.
"And Fred would've agreed. I know he would have."
"That's what I told George. I don't know if he believed me."
"Obviously he did, since he chose to do this."
Molly raised her head and met Arthur's eyes, and he nearly flinched at the anguish within them.
"Molly? What is it?"
"He didn't."
"He didn't what?"
"He didn't choose. He didn't change his mind."
"What?"
"I... I went to speak to him. I wasn't going to - I was going to say goodbye," she said, her voice breaking, and Arthur's heart gave a stab.
"What happened?"
"He didn't move. He didn't respond at all. I looked down at him, and he - he wasn't George any more. He wasn't, he had supposedly made a choice to not go through the treatment, but he was so exhausted and... and broken, and he couldn't make the right choice any more."
Arthur's throat was dry. "What did you do?"
"I... decided for him."
"What? How?" God, none of this made sense, and Arthur wanted nothing more than to slow everything down, make it all make sense, make it all fit. "How - he said, he said he'd changed his mind, and--"
"He didn't."
"What do you mean?" said Arthur, a sense of horror growing in his chest. "Molly, what did you do to him?"
"I told him he was going to wake up and tell the Healer that he'd changed his mind. That he was going to go ahead with the treatment. The Reawakening. I thought of putting him through the Sundering without losing his memory, but you heard Lethe; she had said it might kill him, and I couldn't face making him go through torture for nothing, and..." she gave a sob, and looked down at her trembling hands.
"How could you?" Arthur whispered, his mind reeling.
Molly looked up at him defiantly, her brown eyes red from weeping. "I lost one son already! I was not going to lose another!"
"That wasn't your decision to make!" Arthur said. "And you - we - still lost George! You saved a son who doesn't remember his own twin - and that's not George! Fred was as much a part of George as - as his hair and his freckles!"
"He's alive, isn't he?"
"Not the way he would've wanted to be," said Arthur.
Molly glared at him. "You think I should've let him die, then? Were you ready to bury another son, less than a year after the first?"
Arthur closed his eyes in pain, then opened them and reached out for Molly. "No. No, I wasn't." He stroked her hair, holding her close, his heart beating rapidly. Two months, he thought numbly. Two months of telling himself George's choice had been for the best, trying to convince himself losing Fred for good was worth it, if it kept George with them. "None of us could've coped with that. But this... this hurts too, Molly. Watching George be a living reminder that Fred is more gone than he ever was before. And in some ways it's worse that George can't understand why."
Molly drew in on herself.
"Molly." Arthur took a deep breath. "We have to tell George."
Molly pulled back. "What? No!"
"Molly."
"What possible use could there be in telling him now?"
"The Healer said that going through the ritual had to be his choice. She said it wouldn't work without his cooperation."
"That was the Sundering, not the Reawakening," said Molly. "And he's all right now. The Healer said so."
"We have to ask. We have to be sure," Arthur insisted. He reached out and took her hand in his. "Besides, the George we knew would've wanted to know," he said. "And the George he is now deserves to know as well."
ooo000ooo
"George?" Lee leaned out of the flat's window and craned his neck to look up on the roof. "Are you up there?"
"Yeah."
Lee climbed out the window and onto the ledge and then pulled himself up to the roof. George sat, staring out onto the rooftops of Diagon Alley. Odd; Lee used to find Fred up here all the time, but George only ever came up if Fred was here too.
"How are you doing?" asked Lee, sitting down next to him.
"All right."
"Ready for the big day tomorrow?"
George nodded absently.
"What's wrong?" Lee asked. It was odd, thinking about George's birthday. He knew George had thought of not doing anything, before. They'd all wondered how he'd get through it; the date had loomed in the future like a huge squatting baleful stone idol. Now, though... it would still be weird, and painful, but so, so different from what they had all envisioned.
"Are you all right?"
"Yeah. No. I'm thinking about my Mum."
"What about her?"
"She's under arrest."
"What?!"
"At the Ministry."
Lee sat down next to him, stunned. "Are you joking?"
"No."
"What's she under arrest for?"
"Casting an Unforgivable." He swallowed hard. "On me."
April
"I am not going to testify against my own mother," said George.
Percy sighed. "You can't refuse to testify, George."
"They can't make me--"
"Actually, they can," Hermione said heavily. "And that's not the worst of it. You will be given Veritaserum before your testimony."
"What?!"
"It's a new measure, passed for the Death Eater trials," said Lee. "The accused and all of the witnesses are under Veritaserum."
"Kingsley didn't want it," said Hermione. "And he's trying to get it removed, but it's going slowly. It's been removed for most trials, but-"
"My mother is not a Death Eater," George said angrily.
"She committed an Unforgivable, George," said Percy. "All trials having to do with Unforgivables are done under Veritaserum now."
God, what a complete fucking mess, thought Lee as he watched George's face go through a myriad of emotions. None of them had looked forward to April Fool's this year, but they'd had no idea it would be like this, with Wheezes unceremoniously closed until further notice, and the entire family gathered at Grimmauld Place to discuss Molly Weasley's trial and hide from the media frenzy. The Prophet and the Wireless were having a field day.
Another Hero Tarnished? Bellatrix Lestrange's Killer Used Unforgivable on Son!
If Lee could ever get his hands on the sanctimonious mediwizard who had leaked the story to the Prophet, or the journalist who had written it or the editor who had approved it, he would make them all pay. The only upside to this entire clusterfuck was that, what with the story going to print today, a sizable proportion of the wizarding population thought it was merely a remarkably tasteless joke. According to Lee's sources, the indignant Owls had been arriving in droves at The Prophet headquarters for hours now, and the birdshit was piling high. Poetic justice, that.
"This is insane," said Charlie. "George didn't want her arrested, and he doesn't want her punished. How can they do this when her 'victim' doesn't want them to?"
"She used an Unforgivable," said Ginny, her voice hard. "And she nearly - nearly killed Fred, is what she did."
"Fred has been dead for almost a year," said Charlie harshly.
"I won't testify against her," said George. "They can't make me."
"They can," said Lee. "And not just about what she did. They'll want to know what you think about what she did."
George's eyes widened. "No!"
"What do you think, George?" asked Hermione.
"How the hell should I know?" he said. He stood up, nervous energy humming through him, and started to pace. "I feel like everything's fine, but then I look at the people around me and you all know something I don't and part of me feels like I'm missing something, all the time. And I've got a twin I don't remember. How am I supposed to feel?"
"Are you angry at your mum?"
"Angry at her?" said George. "She put me under Imperius and made me do something that the rest of you are positive I would never have done on my own. How could I not be angry at her? It's still none of the Wizengamot's business!"
"She saved your life, George!" said Charlie.
"Apparently, I didn't want her to," George shot back.
"I'm not agreeing with what she did. Nobody does. But you're alive, for God's sake! We'd already lost Fred, she'd already lost him, and we couldn't have dealt with losing you, too. Especially when there was a way to save you."
"But I--"
"You have no idea how bad it was!" Lee said. "You were hurting so badly, you didn't know what to do, and then on top of that, you had this magical problem and it was driving you insane, and you weren't getting any better - you were getting worse."
"George, we lost Fred in an instant," said Bill. "In the middle of a war. And we were losing you bit by bit, when the war was supposed to be over. He died with a smile on his face, laughing at a joke - you were dying bit by bit, in pain, and there was nothing funny about it. Fuck, George - in Mum's place, what would you have done?!"
George shook his head. "How am I supposed to answer that?" He looked around at them. "And if everybody's so eager for me to forgive Mum, why weren't the rest of you in on it? Why didn't the rest of you think of casting Imperio yourselves?"
There was an uncomfortable silence.
"Well, now you know," said Ginny. "Are you going to do anything about it?"
"About what?" asked Ron.
"Undoing the Reawakening."
Ron blinked. "What? The Healer said the Reawakening was permanent. She said she wouldn't do anything, wouldn't let him change back."
"She said she wouldn't because it was his choice to make," said Ginny. "Only it wasn't his choice. She'll do it now, if he really wants to. It would have to be done very soon, before the person he is now is too firmly entrenched, but she will do it."
"How do you know?" asked Ron.
"I asked her," said Ginny defiantly. "She said what Mum did changed everything."
"And then he'd still have to go through the Sundering ritual?"
Ginny hesitated. "Yes."
"Would it be any less dangerous?" asked George.
Ginny pressed her lips together briefly. "A bit. You're stronger now." She cleared her throat. "But not by much."
"Would you want to?" asked Lee.
Angelina gave him a look. "Would he want to? What kind of question is that? The George Weasley I know would--"
"The George Weasley you knew apparently died about the same time as the Fred Weasley you knew," George said grimly.
Angelina looked for a moment she like she very much wanted to either stalk out of the room or slap George across the face - and then she bit her lip. "You know what? You're right. I'm sorry." She dropped her gaze. "I'm sorry."
George stared at her, then suddenly got up and left the room. Lee scrambled to follow him, waving the rest of them back to their seats. This might be one of those moments when a sibling's opinion might interfere too much.
"I don't know," said George, as Lee caught up to him.
"Whether to try to go back, you mean?"
George nodded.
"You think you might, though?"
George spread his hands helplessly. "I don't know, Lee. Lethe said it would be dangerous. So dangerous that she said she would never agree to it, when she thought the Reawakening was my choice. Now all of a sudden, she might be willing to do it, just because my mother put me under Imperius?"
Lee nodded. "Why would you want to?"
George sighed. "I'm not who I was. I don't know who I am. I think I know, but then I let Percy make a stupid comment without teasing him about it, or wear blue, or assume I'm going to play Chaser instead of Beater - and all of a sudden I'm not sure again. Like who I think I am doesn't exist for anybody but me."
Lee rubbed a hand through his hair. "You want to, then? Despite the risk?"
"I think maybe I should."
"Why? Who do you owe it to?"
"The person I was. The twin I don't remember."
"They're both gone," said Lee flatly. "And it's your life we're talking about now, not theirs."
ooo000ooo
"What do you think of your mother's actions?" asked Wizengamot member Ellen McNair.
George took a quick breath and tried to keep in mind what Ron and Harry had taught him in his crash course on evading Veritaserum. "She did what she thought was right. I wouldn't be here to speak for her if she hadn't."
"But do you think she was right to do what she did?"
"She did what she thought was right," George repeated firmly.
"That's not good enough," McNair shot back. "She put you under Imperius."
"She was trying to save my life."
"Do you wish she hadn't?"
"Yes." George bit his lip, his gaze meeting Mum's in the defendant's chair as a murmur ran through the Wizengamot. "I understand why she did it, though. I probably wouldn't be alive if she hadn't."
Ellen McNair nodded dismissively. "Yes, yes, we heard that from Healer Lethe as well. Thank you."
"Are we done questioning Mr. Weasley, then?" asked Kingsley. There was a murmur of assent from the Wizengamot. "Then it is time to hear from Molly Weasley," he said, and gave her an encouraging look. Not more than that - certainly not a smile. It had been difficult enough to persuade the Wizengamot to allow him to chair the meeting, as the Minister for Magic was supposed to, considering his friendship with the accused.
Mum sat up a bit straighter in the accused's chair, looking only at Kingsley.
"Tell us what led you to perform the Unforgivable, please, Mrs. Weasley," said Tamara Nott, a stern-looking older witch whose had spent the bulk of the hearing so far frowning at McNair, and occasionally objecting to her scathing remarks.
It wasn't necessary for Mum to say very much; the facts had been gathered from Healers Radstone, Adams, and Lethe, from Dad, and from George and all of his siblings. All that remained was for Mum to tell what she had felt upon being told that George had chosen to reject all treatment, and what had led her to cast the Unforgivable. The Wizengamot was almost silent as she gave her story.
George glanced around at the packed gallery listening to his mother speak - the press with their QuickNotes Quills scribbling away, a contingent of families of Death Eaters sitting grim-faced and self-righteous, members of the Order, and an assortment of other wizards and witches eager to gawk at the spectacle. He spotted Andromeda, sitting with Narcissa and Draco Malfoy, and gave her a small smile.
"I lost both of my brothers in the first war," Mum said quietly, ending her testimony. "And a son in the second. My son was in pain, and I could help him. I couldn't do anything to save Gideon or Fabian or Fred, but I could not let another child of mine die."
"He wasn't a child," said McNair. "And it was his decision to make."
"He wasn't competent to make the decision."
"He was, according to Healer Lethe," McNair retorted. "And your own husband and children, all of them, believe he should have been allowed to decide for himself."
Mum took a shaking breath. "I know. And maybe they're right. All I know is that I could not let him die. Not like that, in pain and alone. Not when I could save him."
"Do you think you deserve to go to Azkaban?" asked Nott.
Mum sighed. "I killed Bellatrix Lestrange to save my daughter, and I used an Unforgivable to save my son," she said softly. "I had a good reason for both, but I will accept the decision of the Wizengamot."
There was a rustle from the crowd.
"Are we ready to vote?" asked Kingsley, glancing at McNair and Nott.
Ellen McNair stood up. "Minister, I would like to say a few words before we do so." Kingsley nodded, and McNair took a moment to gather herself. "I understand that some of you may be feeling sympathy for this woman before you. She is a war hero, after all, from a family of heroes, and she lost a son in the war. Her children have made impassioned pleas, urging leniency in her case. But we must not forget what she is accused of doing." She looked around at the full Wizengamot. "She is accused of using an Unforgivable. Not in the heat of battle, not in a rash moment heartily repented of later. She cast Imperius on her own son, and forced him to undergo a horribly painful process that he had explicitly rejected. Molly Weasley is no better than any Death Eater. She took her own son's free will away from him, stole his memories. Stole his very identity from him." She looked around at the gallery again. "How can we possibly condone that? And what does it say about us if we allow a crime like that to go unpunished, simply because the criminal is not a Death Eater?"
She sat down, to a murmur from the crowd.
George clenched his fists, itching to stand up and address the Wizengamot himself. Because the one thing he'd decided between his mother's arrest and this trial was that the point wasn't her use of an Unforgivable, or whether or not she'd stolen his free will. Using an Unforgivable to save another person's life wasn't a crime, as far as George was concerned. The point was whether or not it was acceptable for her to have essentially erased Fred, a man who George didn't even know, but who hadn't deserved to be consigned to oblivion. And, all issues of wizarding politics aside, that wasn't any of the Wizengamot's business.
Tamara Nott stood up. "Minister, if I may?" Kingsley nodded. "I... honestly don't know what to say here. My friend's speech has left me speechless." She shook her head. "How can you possibly compare Molly Weasley to Death Eaters? She didn't do what she did out of maliciousness, or to amuse herself! She did it because her son was dying and she couldn't sit just there and watch him!"
"The result is the same," said McNair. "She stole his free will."
"And you are stealing my opportunity to speak, Mrs. McNair," said Nott.
"Mrs. McNair," said Kingsley. "Please sit."
Nott nodded at him in thanks. "I don't think anybody truly understands what Molly Weasley went through. This is a woman who brought seven children into the world, and raised them, through her own example, to be members of our society that anybody would be proud of. Of the five children who finished Hogwarts before the war, all were successful, no matter which profession they chose. Of the five sons who reached adulthood before the war, four were members of the Order of the Phoenix. Her youngest son helped Harry Potter vanquish You-Know-Who. Her daughter helped to lead Dumbledore's Army during Severus Snape's Headmastership. And every single one of her children fought in the Battle at Hogwarts. Every. Single. One."
Nott paused. "I understand that we find ourselves in a difficult political situation. We want to show impartiality, and show that we prosecute everyone who uses an Unforgivable in the same way. Harry Potter himself was censured for what he did. But this wasn't done in the heat of anger, and it wasn't done with malice. Molly Weasley, and her family, have lost enough. Enough! Do not sacrifice a grieving mother, who only wanted to save the life of her child, for... impartiality. For abstract principle, or political expediency. She lost three members of her own family fighting against You-Know-Who for us. She got rid of Bellatrix Lestrange for us. She gave us seven heroes. She has given us enough. Now she and her family need us to give her something back: compassion, and forgiveness. Do not let her down."
ooo000ooo
"God, what is taking them so bloody long?" said George, as Kingsley came into the small waiting room.
Kingsley glanced around at George's family and friends. He cleared his throat. "They're almost done. They've asked me to talk to you first though."
"What for?" asked George.
"Have you decided whether or not you're undoing the Reawakening spell?"
George frowned. "What? Of course not. I only found out I could a few days ago."
"Do you think you will?"
"I don't know. Maybe. Why are you asking?"
"The Wizengamot has decided. If you don't undo the spell, it will be taken as proof that your will was not truly compromised, and your mother will only be given a year's probation. If you choose to undo it, she goes to Azkaban."
George's mouth dropped open. "What?! That's insane!"
"I know."
"How long?" asked Percy.
"One year. And she will not be allowed to use magic afterwards."
"Ever?"
"Ever."
"That's ridiculous," said Andromeda. "They can't do that."
"Ellen McNair has many allies." Kingsley looked around at George's horrified friends and family. "You've all seen how all of this has played out in the papers: the people who were sympathetic to Death Eaters have taken this case up as their cause, to exact vengeance for the treatment given to the Death Eaters after the war, and to compensate for the fact that Harry wasn't more severely punished for using two Unforgivables. And they have swayed a great many people to their side, pressuring them into believing that this is a necessary concession, if we're to continue to move forward."
"I told you, Kingsley, you should have let me speak for her too," said Andromeda angrily. "Even Narcissa and Draco were willing--""
"That wouldn't have done any good," Kingsley interrupted. "The Death Eater sympathizers would've dismissed the Malfoys because they cooperated with our side after the war, and the others because they were in Voldemort's camp during the war. We've been over this."
"My Mum doesn't deserve this," said George.
"We will fight it," said Hermione.
Kingsley gave Hermione a brisk nod. "I know you will. And I will do all I can to help you, and hopefully we will get the sentence overturned or at least lessened. But it may take time. In the meantime, though, George has to decide, now. The Healers won't do it at all in a week or so."
George shook his head, heartsick.
"You know," said Ginny slowly, "even if you do undo the Reawakening, it may not work. Your chances of survival are almost the same as they were before, when you said no to the Sundering. You rejected it for a reason."
George stared at her. "You're talking to me, now?"
Ginny bit her lip. "I was wrong. I was angry, and I was wrong. And I'm still angry at Mum, but..." She cleared her throat. "I love you. I love Mum too. Hermione thinks maybe I wanted you to decide to do the Reawakening, but didn't want to admit that to myself. So I took it out on you." She shook her head. "I'm sorry."
"You still need to decide what to do, George," said Kingsley.
"Mum did what she did to protect me," said George. "She's already suffered for it enough."
"Can you live with not knowing who you were?" said Ginny.
"Who I was is gone. This is me now."
"Is that good enough for you?"
"I don't know." George looked down at his wand, absently making sparks with it and watching them pop softly. "What would the George I was before have done?"
"I think he would have undone the Reawakening," said Ginny.
"So do I," said Ron. "But you're not him."
"What would Fred have said?"
"I think he would have told you to get on with your life and not risk it again just for the sake of his memory," said Lee. "But I honestly don't know. None of us knew him as well as you did."
"And I don't know him at all any more," said George. He'd come to learn about Fred, had seen pictures of him, had heard stories about him, but it wasn't the same as knowing him. Not at all.
And the point wasn't what Fred would have wanted. Or what he himself would have wanted, before the Reawakening. The point was what he thought now; whether he thought it was all right to live the rest of his life free of sorrow but with an enormous part of himself missing, or whether he was willing to risk his own life again. Not just for the memories of Fred, or for whatever effect Fred had had on the person George had been, but for Fred's sake as well. He had evidently thought losing Fred wasn't worth saving his own life before, when he'd rejected the option, but he had been sick with grief and exhausted at the time, and...
And if he went for the Sundering now, supposedly he would remember this life, remember what it had been like to not ache for what would be forever missing. Would that help? Would it be worth it?
George looked at Kingsley. "I want to see my mother. Is that allowed?"
Kingsley started to shake his head, then paused and exchanged a glance with Andromeda. He set his jaw. "You know, if being bloody Minister for Magic doesn't allow me to decide this one thing, it's not worth the robes that come with it. Come with me." He led George back to the Wizengamot chamber, where Mum still sat in the chair for the accused, awaiting judgment.
George approached her and conjured himself a chair, not bothering to ask permission before doing so. He reached for his mother's hand.
"What should I do, Mum?"
Mum shook her head.
"Mum, I need your help," he said. "You did this to protect me. What should I do now?"
ooo000ooo
Part 1, Hogwarts
Part 2, The Burrow
Part 3, Wheezes
Part 4, St. Mungo's
Part 5, You Can't Go Home Again
Part 6, Christmas Cheer
Part 7a, Rock Bottom
Part 7b, Rock Bottom
Part 8, Lethe
Part 9, Severance
Part 11, May 1
Rating: R
Summary: Nobody expected the year after Fred's death would be easy. But nobody expected George would have to lose so much, just to live through it. Or: George is doing his best to make his way after the war and Fred's death. Everyone is trying to help, and he wishes they would just stop. Especially Fred.
Warnings: Angst, suicide issues, and occasional inappropriate humour.
Author Note: Thanks to
twistedm, tree00faery, and vanseedee for beta above and beyond the call of friendship.Right, so I was going to just post the last chapter and sort-of-epilogue, but then remembered the last time I did a double post, two people were rather miffed at me because they read the second post before the first one or... something. Anyway, Epilogue gets posted Friday :)
Part 1, Hogwarts
Part 2, The Burrow
Part 3, Wheezes
Part 4, St. Mungo's
Part 5, You Can't Go Home Again
Part 6, Christmas Cheer
Part 7a, Rock Bottom
Part 7b, Rock Bottom
Part 8, Lethe
Part 9, Severance
The shop was doing well, thought Lee as he opened the door and was assaulted by Wheezes' general din and mayhem. He glanced around and spotted George in a middle aisle simultaneously straightening up a shelf, complimenting a small child who had sprouted fairy wings, and chatting with Mrs. Weasley, as the shop buzzed and whirred full-tilt around him.
George also seemed to be doing well. He was fully in control of the shop again, interacting easily with customers and with Verity, Naomi, and the new clerk, and not allowing his occasional memory blanks - or customers' references to Fred - to bother him, as far as anyone could tell.
"Don't you have a Healer's appointment today?" Mrs. Weasley was asking him as Lee approached.
George waved a quick hello to Lee, and checked his watch. "Yeah, in half an hour. Was thinking of cancelling it, though - I've still got to put up Angelina's thing in the display case, and the latest batch of Jumpy Jiggle Jellies isn't coming together all that well."
"George, please," said Mrs. Weasley.
"All right, Mum," he said patiently, gave her a kiss, and hurried to the lab door. "Oi, Ron! Can you watch the Jigglies for me?"
"Can't!" Ron's voice called back. "I'm still cross-eyed from the Eye Sore Sours!"
"Bugger." George turned to Lee. "Lee! Can you watch my Jigglies?"
Lee nodded, bemused. "Sounds a bit naughty, so I'm game. What do I watch for?"
"Anything green is bad, anything that smells like pumpkin tart is good."
Lee nodded. "No problem. What about green pumpkin tart?"
"Green pumpkin tart? Erm... leave. Leave immediately, and cast a containment spell on the lab." George paused, thinking. "On second thought, no, just write it down and see if you can take a picture. Unless... no, never mind. Just leave, and evacuate the building." Another pause. "Best tell the neighbours to clear out too."
Lee gaped as George started to hurry off towards the window display. "George!"
"What?"
"You can't be serious, mate!" he said. George raised an eyebrow. "Ah. Right." Lee gave him a rude gesture and George chuckled. "Prat." Lee and Mrs. Weasley exchanged a look of amused exasperation, and Lee followed George to the window as Mrs. Weasley went to help the delighted little fairy-winged boy find his parents.
"What's this?" asked Lee, as he made his way past a small pile of blue and white boxes with large brains painted on the sides, the words Edible Intellect! emblazoned in silver on top.
"Hello, Lee," said Angelina, peering out from behind the boxes.
"Study aids," said George, arranging the boxes into two precarious towers. "For OWL and NEWT students. You know they always get sold grotty gecko eggs or bat dung, and they're willing to eat the most horrifying things. I brewed up some of Angelina's old Smartie Pants Potions and made them taste good."
"They tasted perfectly fine before!" she protested.
"They tasted like dishwater," said George. "Don't complain about the innovation that's making these sell faster than I can brew them."
"Do they work?" asked Lee.
George paused in the middle of casting a spell to keep the first tower upright. "What? Of course they work! I don't do false advertising!"
Lee shook his head. "No, no of course not - only I thought maybe they might be some sort of joke."
George looked at him askance. "For study aids? Yeah, because kids would naturally find it hilarious to fail their OWLs and NEWTs? Give me some credit. No, they work just fine. Guaranteed to increase your retention or your money back."
"And they're selling well?"
"Started out slow, but it's picked up," said Angelina, finishing off the second tower and casting a spell to keep it from tumbling down.
"People probably thought it was a joke at first."
"Probably," said George. "But their effects speak for themselves, and they taste brilliant. I've got them in chocolate, coconut, and lemon flavour."
Lee smiled slightly.
"What?"
Lee shook his head. "Nothing."
"What is it?"
"Nothing, I said."
George blew out his breath and started to make a bridge of boxes between the first tower and the next.
"Why?" said Lee.
"You've got that 'I've just remembered something about Fred and I think it'll be awkward look' about you," George replied curtly.
Angelina dropped a small figure bearing a marked resemblance to a Hogwarts professor and cursed under her breath, and Lee took a beat to compose himself. "Erm, yeah, you're right." He shrugged. "Nothing huge. Only Fred hated coconut. You never had anything coconut flavoured in your products."
George grimaced. "That's it?"
"Erm, sorry... be right back," Angelina mumbled. "Forgot the bag of student figures."
George shook his head, annoyed, as she left. "This really gets on my nerves, Jordan," he said.
Lee swallowed. "I... I know. I'm sorry. None of us means to do it. It just happens."
"Yeah."
"It's not easy for us, yeah? We're doing our best."
"Yeah, and it's dead easy for me," said George sarcastically. He finished positioning the bridge, and carefully placed a professor doll on it, waving his wand to animate it.
"Look, it's easier than it was," said Lee. "Trust me on that one."
"George?" said Ginny, walking into the window display. "Aren't you done with that yet? Mum says you have a Healer's appointment."
"Help us put the professors and students on the display and I'll be off," he said.
"This is bollocks, you know," she said. "It's my weekend off and what am I doing? Pressed into my brother's shop for indentured servitude."
"Go help Angelina find the student doll bag," said George, picking up a doll with an uncanny similarity to McGonagall and placing it on the bridge. "It's somewhere in the lab, I think."
Lee smiled as Ginny gave George a good-natured eye roll and walked off. Ginny had been distinctly uncomfortable with George since the treatment; it was nice that she seemed to be trying, at least.
"You know, this McGonagall doll is very realistic," said Lee, placing another figure. "Are the dolls for sale?"
"No, they're just for show," said George. He placed another professor doll, and Lee thought he recognized the walrus-mustached professor who had taken over Potions after they'd both left Hogwarts. "Is it really easier?" he asked.
"What?"
"Easier than dealing with this type of thing, for you lot? Angelina doing a disappearing act, you getting all uncomfortable, just because I made a bloody coconut-flavoured potion?"
Lee sighed and placed mini-Sprout on the bridge. "Yeah. It is." They placed a few more figures on the bridge, and then George placed one onto one of the stacks, animating it to make it look like it was climbing.
"So you're glad I did it?"
Lee made himself nod. He was. Really. If this was what George had needed to do, it was worth it.
And all right, maybe 'glad' wasn't the right word, but it wasn't worth getting bogged down in semantics.
"Would Fred have agreed?" George asked.
"I don't know," said Lee uncomfortably. "I mean... on the one hand, he believed in not taking the easy way out." He placed a doll on the other tower. "But he also wasn't terribly sentimental, so he might've said Go for it, mate, if it saves your life." He paused. "Especially since you didn't take the easy way out. You really went through hell, for so long... you tried so fucking hard to cope, and it just wasn't going to happen."
"D'you ever wish I hadn't?" asked George, carefully positioning a diminutive Professor Flitwick.
Lee took a deep breath. "George. You'd be dead. Or nearly dead. And I got tired of seeing you that way, mate." He shook his head. "It hurt like hell. We all wanted to take the pain for you, so badly. It was like a punch in the gut, every single time." He animated another doll. "You did the right thing. If it hurt me that much just to see it, imagine what it was like for your parents. Your brothers, your sister. Yourself."
"I keep thinking it was pretty selfish of me," said George. "Feels like it's hurt everybody."
"Better than losing you," said Lee firmly. "And there's no point second-guessing it, either. The important thing is that you made your choice. We all have to respect that. Including you."
George nodded thoughtfully, looking up as Ginny and Angelina came back.
"And I think Fred would've said it wasn't worth it," Lee finished. "Hanging on to his memory if it was going to kill you."
"Though he might have said life is only worth living on your own terms," Ginny said, her voice tight as she knelt down to start placing smaller figures on the bridge. Lee glared at her. Amazing how, among all the Weasleys, only their dad and Bill seemed to grasp the concept of ever knowing when to keep their opinions to themselves.
"I'll never know, will I?" George said slowly.
"I think the point is that you needed to make up your own mind," said Lee.
"What was my own mind, though? I can't even imagine making the decision, and supposedly I'm the one who did it." He shook his head, annoyed.
Lee reflected that it was funny – but not really – how he didn't like introspection any more than old George and Fred did. Though he was at least a bit better at it.
"I think that's done it," said George, placing the last student and waving a wand to animate the entire display.
"I really think people are going to want to buy the professors, too," said Lee, watching the professors chase the students over the bridge and up and down the towers, waving long scrolls at them. "Especially McGonagall. Think we can make her animate little desks?"
George grinned. "That'd be brilliant. She might not think so, though. Maybe next year, when Ginny's not in school any more."
"Have to hit the market, you know," said Lee. "Everyone still remembers her doing that. They might not, next year."
"Luna! Hello!" Ginny called out, and Lee turned to see Luna Lovegood standing at the entrance to the shop.
George turned and smiled. "Luna!" he said, standing up, and Luna flinched. He started to approach her, but stopped as she put up a hand and backed away.
"No. You're really not the George I knew before," said Luna. She turned on her heel, but Ginny reached out to stop her.
"Luna?" said George, cautiously coming closer to her. "What's wrong?"
"You don't remember," said Luna, a hard expression in her normally dreamy eyes.
"I remember," said George slowly, frowning. "I remember being with you. I don't remember where, though."
"I'd always thought you weren't that interested in girls," she said, and now Lee was completely lost, and if Ginny and Angelina's expressions were any indication, so were they. "Not as much as Fred was."
George looked away. "I wouldn't know."
"You're not who I knew in school."
"You're not much like how I remember you either," said George.
"And you're nothing like the George I fucked."
Ginny's eyes grew round and Lee felt his jaw drop.
"And you're nothing like the Luna I knew before the war," said Angelina, stepping forward. "Look, I don't know what happened between you two, but George doesn't deserve this from you. You know what happened at St. Mungo's. Why can't you accept George as he is now?"
Luna gave her a scornful look and stalked out the door. And after a moment, Ginny followed her.
Arthur walked into the bedroom and found Molly crying on their bed, again. He sighed and went to her, hugging her close.
"What is it, love?" he said gently.
Molly shook her head. "Nothing," she said, sobbing into his chest.
"Come on now. How can I help if I don't know what's wrong?"
"There's nothing wrong. George was here earlier. With Lee. They're doing so well. I think...I think that maybe... never mind."
"You think something about George and Lee?"
"Never mind, it's not important." Molly wiped her eyes.
"Is this because of George's birthday coming up?" asked Arthur.
"That's part of it."
"He's doing so much better, though."
"He is, I know." She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes. "He really is."
Arthur hesitated. "Have you noticed that he's not as bothered by mentions of Fred as he was?"
Molly nodded.
"It's good, I think," he said. "That he's accepting this."
"I know."
"I was thinking, I think we should also do something in honour of Fred. At the birthday party."
Molly blanched, and Arthur felt a pang of guilt.
"I'm sorry, Molly, I'm sorry. I only thought..." He trailed off. Nobody talked about Fred any more. It was far too painful. Before, when George could remember, they could at least talk about Fred when he wasn't there. They could at least take comfort in knowing that in many ways, Fred still lived on, in George - though of course none of them had realized how literal that was. Now...
"Nobody will want that," said Molly. "They all avoid any mention of Fred, if they can."
Arthur nodded. "I know, love. It's probably for the best, though."
"Fred deserves better from us," said Molly, her voice hollow. "It wasn't his fault, that what happened with his magic and George's--"
"It wasn't his fault. None of it was. It wasn't his fault he was next to that wall either. And it wasn't Percy's fault he told that joke, and it wasn't our fault that we asked George to come home, and it wasn't George's fault that he didn't understand what was going on and couldn't make us let him stay at Hogwarts." Arthur caught his breath. "It's nobody's fault, Molly. It just happened. We have to deal with what happened, and if letting go of Fred's memory is the only way to do that... I know Fred would be the first to say that's what we should do too."
Molly shivered.
"Molly, please. I know Ginny's still angry at George for choosing this, and it's not what any of us expected, but I think George knew that Fred wouldn't have wanted him to die just to keep his memory alive."
Molly shook her head.
"We just have to make the best of this," Arthur continued doggedly. "Make the best of what we have, and treasure George because he's still with us. He may not be the same as before, but at least he's alive."
Molly nodded.
"And Fred would've agreed. I know he would have."
"That's what I told George. I don't know if he believed me."
"Obviously he did, since he chose to do this."
Molly raised her head and met Arthur's eyes, and he nearly flinched at the anguish within them.
"Molly? What is it?"
"He didn't."
"He didn't what?"
"He didn't choose. He didn't change his mind."
"What?"
"I... I went to speak to him. I wasn't going to - I was going to say goodbye," she said, her voice breaking, and Arthur's heart gave a stab.
"What happened?"
"He didn't move. He didn't respond at all. I looked down at him, and he - he wasn't George any more. He wasn't, he had supposedly made a choice to not go through the treatment, but he was so exhausted and... and broken, and he couldn't make the right choice any more."
Arthur's throat was dry. "What did you do?"
"I... decided for him."
"What? How?" God, none of this made sense, and Arthur wanted nothing more than to slow everything down, make it all make sense, make it all fit. "How - he said, he said he'd changed his mind, and--"
"He didn't."
"What do you mean?" said Arthur, a sense of horror growing in his chest. "Molly, what did you do to him?"
"I told him he was going to wake up and tell the Healer that he'd changed his mind. That he was going to go ahead with the treatment. The Reawakening. I thought of putting him through the Sundering without losing his memory, but you heard Lethe; she had said it might kill him, and I couldn't face making him go through torture for nothing, and..." she gave a sob, and looked down at her trembling hands.
"How could you?" Arthur whispered, his mind reeling.
Molly looked up at him defiantly, her brown eyes red from weeping. "I lost one son already! I was not going to lose another!"
"That wasn't your decision to make!" Arthur said. "And you - we - still lost George! You saved a son who doesn't remember his own twin - and that's not George! Fred was as much a part of George as - as his hair and his freckles!"
"He's alive, isn't he?"
"Not the way he would've wanted to be," said Arthur.
Molly glared at him. "You think I should've let him die, then? Were you ready to bury another son, less than a year after the first?"
Arthur closed his eyes in pain, then opened them and reached out for Molly. "No. No, I wasn't." He stroked her hair, holding her close, his heart beating rapidly. Two months, he thought numbly. Two months of telling himself George's choice had been for the best, trying to convince himself losing Fred for good was worth it, if it kept George with them. "None of us could've coped with that. But this... this hurts too, Molly. Watching George be a living reminder that Fred is more gone than he ever was before. And in some ways it's worse that George can't understand why."
Molly drew in on herself.
"Molly." Arthur took a deep breath. "We have to tell George."
Molly pulled back. "What? No!"
"Molly."
"What possible use could there be in telling him now?"
"The Healer said that going through the ritual had to be his choice. She said it wouldn't work without his cooperation."
"That was the Sundering, not the Reawakening," said Molly. "And he's all right now. The Healer said so."
"We have to ask. We have to be sure," Arthur insisted. He reached out and took her hand in his. "Besides, the George we knew would've wanted to know," he said. "And the George he is now deserves to know as well."
"George?" Lee leaned out of the flat's window and craned his neck to look up on the roof. "Are you up there?"
"Yeah."
Lee climbed out the window and onto the ledge and then pulled himself up to the roof. George sat, staring out onto the rooftops of Diagon Alley. Odd; Lee used to find Fred up here all the time, but George only ever came up if Fred was here too.
"How are you doing?" asked Lee, sitting down next to him.
"All right."
"Ready for the big day tomorrow?"
George nodded absently.
"What's wrong?" Lee asked. It was odd, thinking about George's birthday. He knew George had thought of not doing anything, before. They'd all wondered how he'd get through it; the date had loomed in the future like a huge squatting baleful stone idol. Now, though... it would still be weird, and painful, but so, so different from what they had all envisioned.
"Are you all right?"
"Yeah. No. I'm thinking about my Mum."
"What about her?"
"She's under arrest."
"What?!"
"At the Ministry."
Lee sat down next to him, stunned. "Are you joking?"
"No."
"What's she under arrest for?"
"Casting an Unforgivable." He swallowed hard. "On me."
"I am not going to testify against my own mother," said George.
Percy sighed. "You can't refuse to testify, George."
"They can't make me--"
"Actually, they can," Hermione said heavily. "And that's not the worst of it. You will be given Veritaserum before your testimony."
"What?!"
"It's a new measure, passed for the Death Eater trials," said Lee. "The accused and all of the witnesses are under Veritaserum."
"Kingsley didn't want it," said Hermione. "And he's trying to get it removed, but it's going slowly. It's been removed for most trials, but-"
"My mother is not a Death Eater," George said angrily.
"She committed an Unforgivable, George," said Percy. "All trials having to do with Unforgivables are done under Veritaserum now."
God, what a complete fucking mess, thought Lee as he watched George's face go through a myriad of emotions. None of them had looked forward to April Fool's this year, but they'd had no idea it would be like this, with Wheezes unceremoniously closed until further notice, and the entire family gathered at Grimmauld Place to discuss Molly Weasley's trial and hide from the media frenzy. The Prophet and the Wireless were having a field day.
Another Hero Tarnished? Bellatrix Lestrange's Killer Used Unforgivable on Son!
If Lee could ever get his hands on the sanctimonious mediwizard who had leaked the story to the Prophet, or the journalist who had written it or the editor who had approved it, he would make them all pay. The only upside to this entire clusterfuck was that, what with the story going to print today, a sizable proportion of the wizarding population thought it was merely a remarkably tasteless joke. According to Lee's sources, the indignant Owls had been arriving in droves at The Prophet headquarters for hours now, and the birdshit was piling high. Poetic justice, that.
"This is insane," said Charlie. "George didn't want her arrested, and he doesn't want her punished. How can they do this when her 'victim' doesn't want them to?"
"She used an Unforgivable," said Ginny, her voice hard. "And she nearly - nearly killed Fred, is what she did."
"Fred has been dead for almost a year," said Charlie harshly.
"I won't testify against her," said George. "They can't make me."
"They can," said Lee. "And not just about what she did. They'll want to know what you think about what she did."
George's eyes widened. "No!"
"What do you think, George?" asked Hermione.
"How the hell should I know?" he said. He stood up, nervous energy humming through him, and started to pace. "I feel like everything's fine, but then I look at the people around me and you all know something I don't and part of me feels like I'm missing something, all the time. And I've got a twin I don't remember. How am I supposed to feel?"
"Are you angry at your mum?"
"Angry at her?" said George. "She put me under Imperius and made me do something that the rest of you are positive I would never have done on my own. How could I not be angry at her? It's still none of the Wizengamot's business!"
"She saved your life, George!" said Charlie.
"Apparently, I didn't want her to," George shot back.
"I'm not agreeing with what she did. Nobody does. But you're alive, for God's sake! We'd already lost Fred, she'd already lost him, and we couldn't have dealt with losing you, too. Especially when there was a way to save you."
"But I--"
"You have no idea how bad it was!" Lee said. "You were hurting so badly, you didn't know what to do, and then on top of that, you had this magical problem and it was driving you insane, and you weren't getting any better - you were getting worse."
"George, we lost Fred in an instant," said Bill. "In the middle of a war. And we were losing you bit by bit, when the war was supposed to be over. He died with a smile on his face, laughing at a joke - you were dying bit by bit, in pain, and there was nothing funny about it. Fuck, George - in Mum's place, what would you have done?!"
George shook his head. "How am I supposed to answer that?" He looked around at them. "And if everybody's so eager for me to forgive Mum, why weren't the rest of you in on it? Why didn't the rest of you think of casting Imperio yourselves?"
There was an uncomfortable silence.
"Well, now you know," said Ginny. "Are you going to do anything about it?"
"About what?" asked Ron.
"Undoing the Reawakening."
Ron blinked. "What? The Healer said the Reawakening was permanent. She said she wouldn't do anything, wouldn't let him change back."
"She said she wouldn't because it was his choice to make," said Ginny. "Only it wasn't his choice. She'll do it now, if he really wants to. It would have to be done very soon, before the person he is now is too firmly entrenched, but she will do it."
"How do you know?" asked Ron.
"I asked her," said Ginny defiantly. "She said what Mum did changed everything."
"And then he'd still have to go through the Sundering ritual?"
Ginny hesitated. "Yes."
"Would it be any less dangerous?" asked George.
Ginny pressed her lips together briefly. "A bit. You're stronger now." She cleared her throat. "But not by much."
"Would you want to?" asked Lee.
Angelina gave him a look. "Would he want to? What kind of question is that? The George Weasley I know would--"
"The George Weasley you knew apparently died about the same time as the Fred Weasley you knew," George said grimly.
Angelina looked for a moment she like she very much wanted to either stalk out of the room or slap George across the face - and then she bit her lip. "You know what? You're right. I'm sorry." She dropped her gaze. "I'm sorry."
George stared at her, then suddenly got up and left the room. Lee scrambled to follow him, waving the rest of them back to their seats. This might be one of those moments when a sibling's opinion might interfere too much.
"I don't know," said George, as Lee caught up to him.
"Whether to try to go back, you mean?"
George nodded.
"You think you might, though?"
George spread his hands helplessly. "I don't know, Lee. Lethe said it would be dangerous. So dangerous that she said she would never agree to it, when she thought the Reawakening was my choice. Now all of a sudden, she might be willing to do it, just because my mother put me under Imperius?"
Lee nodded. "Why would you want to?"
George sighed. "I'm not who I was. I don't know who I am. I think I know, but then I let Percy make a stupid comment without teasing him about it, or wear blue, or assume I'm going to play Chaser instead of Beater - and all of a sudden I'm not sure again. Like who I think I am doesn't exist for anybody but me."
Lee rubbed a hand through his hair. "You want to, then? Despite the risk?"
"I think maybe I should."
"Why? Who do you owe it to?"
"The person I was. The twin I don't remember."
"They're both gone," said Lee flatly. "And it's your life we're talking about now, not theirs."
"What do you think of your mother's actions?" asked Wizengamot member Ellen McNair.
George took a quick breath and tried to keep in mind what Ron and Harry had taught him in his crash course on evading Veritaserum. "She did what she thought was right. I wouldn't be here to speak for her if she hadn't."
"But do you think she was right to do what she did?"
"She did what she thought was right," George repeated firmly.
"That's not good enough," McNair shot back. "She put you under Imperius."
"She was trying to save my life."
"Do you wish she hadn't?"
"Yes." George bit his lip, his gaze meeting Mum's in the defendant's chair as a murmur ran through the Wizengamot. "I understand why she did it, though. I probably wouldn't be alive if she hadn't."
Ellen McNair nodded dismissively. "Yes, yes, we heard that from Healer Lethe as well. Thank you."
"Are we done questioning Mr. Weasley, then?" asked Kingsley. There was a murmur of assent from the Wizengamot. "Then it is time to hear from Molly Weasley," he said, and gave her an encouraging look. Not more than that - certainly not a smile. It had been difficult enough to persuade the Wizengamot to allow him to chair the meeting, as the Minister for Magic was supposed to, considering his friendship with the accused.
Mum sat up a bit straighter in the accused's chair, looking only at Kingsley.
"Tell us what led you to perform the Unforgivable, please, Mrs. Weasley," said Tamara Nott, a stern-looking older witch whose had spent the bulk of the hearing so far frowning at McNair, and occasionally objecting to her scathing remarks.
It wasn't necessary for Mum to say very much; the facts had been gathered from Healers Radstone, Adams, and Lethe, from Dad, and from George and all of his siblings. All that remained was for Mum to tell what she had felt upon being told that George had chosen to reject all treatment, and what had led her to cast the Unforgivable. The Wizengamot was almost silent as she gave her story.
George glanced around at the packed gallery listening to his mother speak - the press with their QuickNotes Quills scribbling away, a contingent of families of Death Eaters sitting grim-faced and self-righteous, members of the Order, and an assortment of other wizards and witches eager to gawk at the spectacle. He spotted Andromeda, sitting with Narcissa and Draco Malfoy, and gave her a small smile.
"I lost both of my brothers in the first war," Mum said quietly, ending her testimony. "And a son in the second. My son was in pain, and I could help him. I couldn't do anything to save Gideon or Fabian or Fred, but I could not let another child of mine die."
"He wasn't a child," said McNair. "And it was his decision to make."
"He wasn't competent to make the decision."
"He was, according to Healer Lethe," McNair retorted. "And your own husband and children, all of them, believe he should have been allowed to decide for himself."
Mum took a shaking breath. "I know. And maybe they're right. All I know is that I could not let him die. Not like that, in pain and alone. Not when I could save him."
"Do you think you deserve to go to Azkaban?" asked Nott.
Mum sighed. "I killed Bellatrix Lestrange to save my daughter, and I used an Unforgivable to save my son," she said softly. "I had a good reason for both, but I will accept the decision of the Wizengamot."
There was a rustle from the crowd.
"Are we ready to vote?" asked Kingsley, glancing at McNair and Nott.
Ellen McNair stood up. "Minister, I would like to say a few words before we do so." Kingsley nodded, and McNair took a moment to gather herself. "I understand that some of you may be feeling sympathy for this woman before you. She is a war hero, after all, from a family of heroes, and she lost a son in the war. Her children have made impassioned pleas, urging leniency in her case. But we must not forget what she is accused of doing." She looked around at the full Wizengamot. "She is accused of using an Unforgivable. Not in the heat of battle, not in a rash moment heartily repented of later. She cast Imperius on her own son, and forced him to undergo a horribly painful process that he had explicitly rejected. Molly Weasley is no better than any Death Eater. She took her own son's free will away from him, stole his memories. Stole his very identity from him." She looked around at the gallery again. "How can we possibly condone that? And what does it say about us if we allow a crime like that to go unpunished, simply because the criminal is not a Death Eater?"
She sat down, to a murmur from the crowd.
George clenched his fists, itching to stand up and address the Wizengamot himself. Because the one thing he'd decided between his mother's arrest and this trial was that the point wasn't her use of an Unforgivable, or whether or not she'd stolen his free will. Using an Unforgivable to save another person's life wasn't a crime, as far as George was concerned. The point was whether or not it was acceptable for her to have essentially erased Fred, a man who George didn't even know, but who hadn't deserved to be consigned to oblivion. And, all issues of wizarding politics aside, that wasn't any of the Wizengamot's business.
Tamara Nott stood up. "Minister, if I may?" Kingsley nodded. "I... honestly don't know what to say here. My friend's speech has left me speechless." She shook her head. "How can you possibly compare Molly Weasley to Death Eaters? She didn't do what she did out of maliciousness, or to amuse herself! She did it because her son was dying and she couldn't sit just there and watch him!"
"The result is the same," said McNair. "She stole his free will."
"And you are stealing my opportunity to speak, Mrs. McNair," said Nott.
"Mrs. McNair," said Kingsley. "Please sit."
Nott nodded at him in thanks. "I don't think anybody truly understands what Molly Weasley went through. This is a woman who brought seven children into the world, and raised them, through her own example, to be members of our society that anybody would be proud of. Of the five children who finished Hogwarts before the war, all were successful, no matter which profession they chose. Of the five sons who reached adulthood before the war, four were members of the Order of the Phoenix. Her youngest son helped Harry Potter vanquish You-Know-Who. Her daughter helped to lead Dumbledore's Army during Severus Snape's Headmastership. And every single one of her children fought in the Battle at Hogwarts. Every. Single. One."
Nott paused. "I understand that we find ourselves in a difficult political situation. We want to show impartiality, and show that we prosecute everyone who uses an Unforgivable in the same way. Harry Potter himself was censured for what he did. But this wasn't done in the heat of anger, and it wasn't done with malice. Molly Weasley, and her family, have lost enough. Enough! Do not sacrifice a grieving mother, who only wanted to save the life of her child, for... impartiality. For abstract principle, or political expediency. She lost three members of her own family fighting against You-Know-Who for us. She got rid of Bellatrix Lestrange for us. She gave us seven heroes. She has given us enough. Now she and her family need us to give her something back: compassion, and forgiveness. Do not let her down."
"God, what is taking them so bloody long?" said George, as Kingsley came into the small waiting room.
Kingsley glanced around at George's family and friends. He cleared his throat. "They're almost done. They've asked me to talk to you first though."
"What for?" asked George.
"Have you decided whether or not you're undoing the Reawakening spell?"
George frowned. "What? Of course not. I only found out I could a few days ago."
"Do you think you will?"
"I don't know. Maybe. Why are you asking?"
"The Wizengamot has decided. If you don't undo the spell, it will be taken as proof that your will was not truly compromised, and your mother will only be given a year's probation. If you choose to undo it, she goes to Azkaban."
George's mouth dropped open. "What?! That's insane!"
"I know."
"How long?" asked Percy.
"One year. And she will not be allowed to use magic afterwards."
"Ever?"
"Ever."
"That's ridiculous," said Andromeda. "They can't do that."
"Ellen McNair has many allies." Kingsley looked around at George's horrified friends and family. "You've all seen how all of this has played out in the papers: the people who were sympathetic to Death Eaters have taken this case up as their cause, to exact vengeance for the treatment given to the Death Eaters after the war, and to compensate for the fact that Harry wasn't more severely punished for using two Unforgivables. And they have swayed a great many people to their side, pressuring them into believing that this is a necessary concession, if we're to continue to move forward."
"I told you, Kingsley, you should have let me speak for her too," said Andromeda angrily. "Even Narcissa and Draco were willing--""
"That wouldn't have done any good," Kingsley interrupted. "The Death Eater sympathizers would've dismissed the Malfoys because they cooperated with our side after the war, and the others because they were in Voldemort's camp during the war. We've been over this."
"My Mum doesn't deserve this," said George.
"We will fight it," said Hermione.
Kingsley gave Hermione a brisk nod. "I know you will. And I will do all I can to help you, and hopefully we will get the sentence overturned or at least lessened. But it may take time. In the meantime, though, George has to decide, now. The Healers won't do it at all in a week or so."
George shook his head, heartsick.
"You know," said Ginny slowly, "even if you do undo the Reawakening, it may not work. Your chances of survival are almost the same as they were before, when you said no to the Sundering. You rejected it for a reason."
George stared at her. "You're talking to me, now?"
Ginny bit her lip. "I was wrong. I was angry, and I was wrong. And I'm still angry at Mum, but..." She cleared her throat. "I love you. I love Mum too. Hermione thinks maybe I wanted you to decide to do the Reawakening, but didn't want to admit that to myself. So I took it out on you." She shook her head. "I'm sorry."
"You still need to decide what to do, George," said Kingsley.
"Mum did what she did to protect me," said George. "She's already suffered for it enough."
"Can you live with not knowing who you were?" said Ginny.
"Who I was is gone. This is me now."
"Is that good enough for you?"
"I don't know." George looked down at his wand, absently making sparks with it and watching them pop softly. "What would the George I was before have done?"
"I think he would have undone the Reawakening," said Ginny.
"So do I," said Ron. "But you're not him."
"What would Fred have said?"
"I think he would have told you to get on with your life and not risk it again just for the sake of his memory," said Lee. "But I honestly don't know. None of us knew him as well as you did."
"And I don't know him at all any more," said George. He'd come to learn about Fred, had seen pictures of him, had heard stories about him, but it wasn't the same as knowing him. Not at all.
And the point wasn't what Fred would have wanted. Or what he himself would have wanted, before the Reawakening. The point was what he thought now; whether he thought it was all right to live the rest of his life free of sorrow but with an enormous part of himself missing, or whether he was willing to risk his own life again. Not just for the memories of Fred, or for whatever effect Fred had had on the person George had been, but for Fred's sake as well. He had evidently thought losing Fred wasn't worth saving his own life before, when he'd rejected the option, but he had been sick with grief and exhausted at the time, and...
And if he went for the Sundering now, supposedly he would remember this life, remember what it had been like to not ache for what would be forever missing. Would that help? Would it be worth it?
George looked at Kingsley. "I want to see my mother. Is that allowed?"
Kingsley started to shake his head, then paused and exchanged a glance with Andromeda. He set his jaw. "You know, if being bloody Minister for Magic doesn't allow me to decide this one thing, it's not worth the robes that come with it. Come with me." He led George back to the Wizengamot chamber, where Mum still sat in the chair for the accused, awaiting judgment.
George approached her and conjured himself a chair, not bothering to ask permission before doing so. He reached for his mother's hand.
"What should I do, Mum?"
Mum shook her head.
"Mum, I need your help," he said. "You did this to protect me. What should I do now?"
Part 1, Hogwarts
Part 2, The Burrow
Part 3, Wheezes
Part 4, St. Mungo's
Part 5, You Can't Go Home Again
Part 6, Christmas Cheer
Part 7a, Rock Bottom
Part 7b, Rock Bottom
Part 8, Lethe
Part 9, Severance
Part 11, May 1
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Date: 2011-02-05 12:16 am (UTC)