Everything's Coming Up Roses

[annafugazzi]

Somehow, and I swear this was not intentional, this turned into a post mostly related to fourth_rose. B'zuh?

• But first, a rec: At First Sight, by aquila_star. Arthur and Molly Weasley, from the very beginning. Yes, I am reccing het. It's just... ::squeee:: It rings so true to the characters, and it's so sweet to see them all young and bright-eyed and not yet able to strike fear into a huuuge horde of red-headed boys.
  
  
• So, fourth_rose. First off, I was reminded this morning of her hd_holidays e-mail fic, which is frankly hysterical. Go. Read.
  
  
• Second, OMGOMG, she's updated Not In the Hands of Boys. Squeee!
  
  
• And I finally finished a post I started a while ago, prompted by fourth_rose, who did the opposite of "Top Ten Ways You Know You're Reading a Fic By Me."
  
  After writing out a few list items I realized that for many of the things I can't/won't write, I sounded rather snooty, like I thought there was something wrong with them. Which isn't the case, mostly. To me, non-writeable-by-me-elements of fic are a little like non-favourite foods, with varying degrees of Not My Thing:
  
  
  • Peaches: They're not my favourite fruit and I don't normally use/cook with them myself, but will happily eat them if they are offered.
    
  • Swiss cheese: Don't get it, avoid eating it, but if drowned out by other stuff I'll swallow with a smile, instead of spitting into a napkin. Think no absolutely ill of others who love it.
    
  • Blue cheese: Don't get it. Can't eat it. Ick. Others like it; go them. Just... not near me, 'k?
    
  • Monkey Brain: Don't get it, wrong wrong wrong, wish it did not exist as a food.
  
  
  
  Top Ten Eleven Ways you know you're not reading one of my stories
  
  
  1. Bitch!Ginny.
     
     I know she's a Mary Sue. I don't care.
     
     "But doesn't it bother you that she suddenly went from near-mute dweeb to perfect heroine between books four and six?"
     
     No, because
     
     1. Ron remarked a few times that she never shut up before Harry came into the picture
        
     2. The twins liked her, which they wouldn't have if she was really as dimwitted and blah as she seemed to be in the first four books
        
     3. She never seemed that impressive to me, so I don't get the "perfect heroine" complaint
        
     4. My best friend actually went through a painfully shy => popular girl metamorphosis between ages 13-16
     
     
     I have no problem reading bitch!Ginny in other fics, as long as it's realistic and not something that clearly looks like the author really hated somebody just like Ginny during their high school years, and is getting back at them by gleefully massacring¹ Ginny's character. OTOH, authors who loathe her and get rid of her creatively have my undying admiration. Eg:
     
     On the last day of Ginny Weasley's life the sea around Azkaban was as still as glass, skimmed with gold under the rising sun, no hindrance to a ferry powered by magic but unsettling nonetheless.
     - first sentence of The Shadow of His Wings, and only part of why I lurve its author
     
     
  2. Bastard!Ron or bitch!Hermione Well, OK, I like poking fun at them sometimes. But not making them the villains. This is also peaches, by the way; if it's done believably and/or interestingly, I eat up villain!Ron or Hermione with a spoon, just because wow, cool. I've written stuff where either or both are estranged from Harry, but can't make it for any reason other than just Life Sucks Sometimes, and even nice people sometimes lose touch with each other, or have a big falling out.
     
     
  3. Harry realising he has been gay as a treeful of pixies since birth². Sorry, but the boy had dreams about Ginny that made him "devoutly thankful that Ron could not perform Legilimency," and I'm betting he was not dreaming about playing rousing games of Wizarding Chess with her. I'll totally write him being mostly gay. Where after the teenage "oh wow naughty bits that aren't mine!!11!!" thrill has faded, he has realized they have to be a certain kind of naughty bits or things don't go well. But fully gay, as in Kinsey Scale 6.0? Um, no.
     
     Again, peaches. I'll read other folk's Queer as a Three-Knut Coin fics. Just can't write 'em myself.
     
     
  4. Kink kinkier than straight plain sex, aka Tab A into Slot B (or C). I wrote pegging once. Oh, and a threesome. Could conceivably write blindfolding/light bondage. Rimming, scat, fisting, bloodplay, etc? Range anywhere between peaches and monkey brains, but all are off my cookbook.
     
     
  5. Use of the word "lover" in dialogue. I watched a Saturday Night Live skit once where these two horribly pretentious people called each other "Lohvaire!" and it totally killed the word for me, for all time. To the point where it's blue cheese even in other people's stories. Doh.
     
     
  6. Dom/sub. Somewhere between peaches and Swiss cheese in others' fics. Which, come to think of it, doesn't sound too appetizing, but hey, it's just a metaphor ;)
     
     
  7. Description. Cause I suck at it. I'm all dialogue and thought processes, until some curious beta asks, "Where are they? Indoors or outdoors? Studying or playing Quidditch?"
     
     "Oh!" say I. "Right! They're supposed to be in the middle of a Quidditch game. I know! I'll point out that it's windy! And that the sky is blue. Um... deep blue."
     
     My Awesome Description, let me show you it.
     
     
  8. Poetry that is not in limerick form. Peaches.
     
     
  9. Fic from the bad guy's POV. The closest I ever got was Lucius, for a Bond DVD Extra, and holy hell was that hard to write. Semi-bad guy, not-so-good-guy, I can do. Really bad? Killing kittens for the hell of it? Cannot.
     
     
  10. Honor, color, odor, center, theater, dialog. Canadian writing in a British fandom here; I may forget to take out the occasional "gotten," may have Harry walk into the Great Hall wearing red and gold leather pants without getting in trouble for exposing himself, but -our and -re endings come with the territory. Never notice the American spellings in other people's writing, unless they're telling me I have to "correct" my own. And I pledge eternal gratitude to anybody who points out a forgotten gotten, or inappropriate leather pants.
      
      
  11. Femmeslash. Peachy peaches :)
  
  
  
  ¹ How can that be the right spelling? And yet it is. Huh.
  ² Simile not mine. Shadow of His Wings. I believe one of the twins says it to Draco.

Comments

[frantic-mice.livejournal.com]

11th way I knoe I'm not reading an Anna story:

Random Commenter: "Dude, liek, concrit blah blah concrit? Ya knoe? 'Cause OMG IT'S SO SO WELL-WRITTEN I WANNA CRY!! but liek, this little bitty part here? Can you explain?"

Mysterious Author Not-Anna: "FUCK OFF AND DIE YOU PLEBE!! HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MY AUTHORIAL INTENT!! I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU!! WHY WOULD I TAKE YOUR CONCRIT???? AND LOOK AT THE OTHER REVIEWS!!! PEOPLE LOVE ME!!" *noms on some bluecheese*

:)))))))))))))))))))))))))

[chibitoaster.livejournal.com]

Every single thing you write makes me smile. Do you know that?

[frantic-mice.livejournal.com]

YAY!!!! :DDDDD

You knoe? I totes think that gives MY life meaning. Fochireals. I'm not even being all SARCASTICFACE about it. If that's true. Then. Yeah.

♥

[chibitoaster.livejournal.com]

Seriously. I even read some of your posts out loud 'cause they make me smile even when I feel like utter horseshite!!

Everyone needs a micey to read every single day!! ^_^

[kestrelsparhawk.livejournal.com]

Frantic mice, I want you to collect your comments and make a book of them. I'd TOTALLY buy it.

[frantic-mice.livejournal.com]

Lolage :))))))

Omg. It would be BAD for you. It would ROT UR BRAINZ!!

[annafugazzi.livejournal.com]

AND LOOK AT THE OTHER REVIEWS!!! PEOPLE LOVE ME!!" *noms on some bluecheese*
ROFLMAO!!

Thanks :D :D :D

[scrtkpr.livejournal.com]

until some curious beta asks, "Where are they? Indoors or outdoors? Studying or playing Quidditch?"

"Oh!" say I. "Right! They're supposed to be in the middle of a Quidditch game. I know! I'll point out that it's windy! And that the sky is blue. Um... deep blue."

*giggles*

You know what, though? I totally use the spelling dialogue, even though I do American everything else. Dialog just looks so wrong to me for some reason.

[frantic-mice.livejournal.com]

OMG! That DOES look wrong. Liek MICIE-SPEAK wrong. Like I could do that on purpose and think MOOO AHAHAHA I'm totes fucking up language and I TOTES WOULDN'T BE DOING THAT!! because sombody got there first. -_-

Hao uncoolness is that?

[scrtkpr.livejournal.com]

So it's not just me! Yes, I can't help but frown upon the spelling "dialog" whenever I see it. *frowns*

[vaysh]

"Dialog."

Looks perfectly German to me. It's English, you say? Nawww ... ;-)

[scrtkpr.livejournal.com]

Hee!

[novembersnow.livejournal.com]

I was taught to spell the word as "dialogue" back in school, and have spelled it that way ever since. Also, Merriam-Webster lists "dialogue" as the preferred spelling ("dialog" is an accepted alternative). So you will never convince me that "dialogue" isn't a perfectly American spelling (and for that reason it always annoys the hell out of me when LJ's spellchecker tries to tell me "dialogue" isn't a word; fie on them!).

[scrtkpr.livejournal.com]

Yes, I looked it up and found the same thing once upon a time when a spellchecker flagged it (*pauses to be amused that the spellchecker doesn't think that "spellchecker" is a word either, hahahah*) and have continued to use "dialogue" as my spelling of choice. (It's much prettier, I think.)

[annafugazzi.livejournal.com]

*giggles*
Thought you'd like that... especially as you're usually the curious beta :D :D

You know what, though? I totally use the spelling dialogue, even though I do American everything else. Dialog just looks so wrong to me for some reason.
Yeah, I haven't seen it much, even in American publications. Don't know how common its usage is.

[scrtkpr.livejournal.com]

The curious beta! (Much better than "the annoying one," though I suspect I've earned that title before too. ;))

[grey-hunter.livejournal.com]

It looks unfinished. Like catalog. But it's not like I can be accused of being American ehhhh sorry for butting in.

[scrtkpr.livejournal.com]

Heh, but catalog doesn't bother me, probably because that's what I'm used to seeing.

[kestrelsparhawk.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. Seems you like description, write it or not, to choose Mira's first sentence in that example. Full-bodied description.

But I'm with you -- my betas often ask what my characters look like (well, not in HP! But I'm just lucky there) or where they are. I am not a visual writer, until I force myself to be.

Gotta go look back at your stuff to see now. I remember it as having a strong sense of place...

[annafugazzi.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. Seems you like description, write it or not, to choose Mira's first sentence in that example. Full-bodied description.
Oh, I adore it in other people's fics, if it's not too flowery or goes on too long. I am in awe of people who can paint pictures with their words.

Gotta go look back at your stuff to see now. I remember it as having a strong sense of place...
Really? Cool!

[drgaellon]

I LOVE YOUR ICON. And every one of those errors sets my teeth on edge. Especially "blonde/blond" (and, by extension, "brunette/brunet"). My other humongous peeve is "discrete/discreet."

As I mentioned up-thread, yes, I am a pedant. :) And proud of it, thank you.

[rickey-a.livejournal.com]

LOL your top ten is fun (we overlap on quite a few)! Peaches - *g*

[annafugazzi.livejournal.com]

Thanks :) :) I may have had too much fun writing it, actually ;)

[novembersnow.livejournal.com]

Use of the word "lover" in dialogue.

Hee! I never, ever use that word either. I've never connected it with that SNL skit, although maybe that played a subtle role in my perception of the word. ;)

[annafugazzi.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it bums me out a bit that I can't use it either. My mom said once that she really liked that word (although she meant the Spanish version) because it implied that someone was loved, which was a wonderful thing.

And yet. Ick.

[drgaellon]

I dislike it in gay contexts, because it seems to imply that the relationship is all about sex - in English, the word clearly LACKS the connotation of "one who is loved," and implies only "one with whom I have sex." "Lover" has more intimacy than "f*ckbuddy," but in my head, less than "boyfriend," "partner," or "spouse." I eagerly await the day when "husband" can be applied with abandon. (I also avoid "significant other;" it is kludgy and clinical.)

[annafugazzi.livejournal.com]

Hm, yeah, good point.

I prefer other terms, but don't have much of a problem with using the word lover to describe somebody (though you're right, it does imply mostly sex); it's only its use in dialogue that makes me hit Esc. "My lover gave me this fancy broomstick" is OK, though I'd prefer boyfriend, partner, husband, spouse, whatever. "Thanks for the fancy broomstick, lover," is like a fingernail across a chalkboard. Purely personal hangup, not logical, etc etc, just like my dislike of blue cheese, but there it is :(

[lisa3353.livejournal.com]

#7 - the reason I know I will read everything you write. (I'll even read het by you *Hermafrosts*)
And LOL at the references to Shadow of His Wings. I was lurking a bit in her LJ over the holidays and she wrote two drabbles in that universe. It gives me hope.

[annafugazzi.livejournal.com]

#7 - the reason I know I will read everything you write. (I'll even read het by you *Hermafrosts*)
LOL! Really?

And LOL at the references to Shadow of His Wings. I was lurking a bit in her LJ over the holidays and she wrote two drabbles in that universe. It gives me hope.
OMG I KNOW! I was squeeing so hard when I saw those!

[tree00faery.livejournal.com]

*sigh* Shadow of His Wings = love.

1st footnote - I definitely read the word, went "Huh. Is that how you spell it? Really?", saw the footnote thing, scrolled down, giggled, and resumed reading.

7. - I think I'm the opposite. Not that I write much, but when I do I tend to have so much fun describing the setting, the character's reaction to the setting, everything the character is thinking, etc. that I forget to actually have any dialogue (Dialog? Um, no). Seriously, I've written 10 pages of something, handed it to a friend to read, and had her said "Um, are they ever going to, you know...Say something? You know, conversations, moving the plot along..." To which I responded with something eloquent like "Huh?" ^_^ This is why I suck at actually finishing anything.

[tree00faery.livejournal.com]

*should be "had her say"

Grammar. I has it.

[annafugazzi.livejournal.com]

*sigh* Shadow of His Wings = love.
I know... I live in fear that she won't finish it. It's been so long since there was an update... but then again, she went through a one-year gap of nothing and then churned out three chapters in fairly rapid succession.

::keeps hope alive::

1st footnote - I definitely read the word, went "Huh. Is that how you spell it? Really?", saw the footnote thing, scrolled down, giggled, and resumed reading.
LOL!

Seriously, I've written 10 pages of something, handed it to a friend to read, and had her said "Um, are they ever going to, you know...Say something? You know, conversations, moving the plot along..." To which I responded with something eloquent like "Huh?"
LOL!!

I dunno, I have read some absolutely gorgeous fics that really have very little by way of action or plot. To each her own strength ;)

[tree00faery.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I periodically remember that Shadow of His Wings exists, go back and read it all, spend a week or so worrying that it will never be finished, and then forget about it for a while.

I don't have anything against fic without action or plot... my problem is more that I always have interesting conversations in my mind, but I'm not very good at converting them to paper.

[grey-hunter.livejournal.com]

gay as a treeful of pixies

heee! This reminds me of Good Omens where it was "Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide." :D :D :D I so want that fic (SoHW not GO) to be finished so I could finally read it!

I'm nodding to all. Although, I'd love to write fisting once... heh. And, I guess, writing "lover" in a dialogue would never naturally occur to me. And femmeslash-- I don't hate it. I just don't see the point. (Unless it's Harry and Draco in the aftermath of some magical accident because then, hellyes!)

[annafugazzi.livejournal.com]

heee! This reminds me of Good Omens where it was "Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide."
LOL!! I'd forgotten that one!

OMG I have to reread Good Omens. It's been years. Last time I read it, I was writing a fic, and slipped a "Huh," said Pepper in there somewhere.

:D :D :D I so want that fic (SoHW not GO) to be finished so I could finally read it!
Word.

I'm nodding to all. Although, I'd love to write fisting once... heh.
::shriek::

And femmeslash-- I don't hate it. I just don't see the point. (Unless it's Harry and Draco in the aftermath of some magical accident because then, hellyes!)
::frantically beats down the immediate plotbunnies that pop up::

[grey-hunter.livejournal.com]

::frantically beats down the immediate plotbunnies that pop up::

Whut? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

LOL on the Pepper thing. XD I'd read GO when I was a teen but I didn't like it, so it didn't remain in my memory. To the extent that when I was reading it (in English) about a year ago, I had constant deja vus and couldn't figure out why. And then I fisnished and still couldn't and then I found the book on my shelf about two months later and went DUH! XD

[fourth_rose]

Me! Me! *jumps up and down*

Ahem.

First, thank you so much for the recs, dear! ♥

I'm beginning to think that my list would have needed a lot more than ten points, because most of the things on yours would belong on mine as well! I have tried my hand at writing a bit of kink, but it's not something that usually fits the overall feel of my fics, and since I can't write PWP for neither love nor money... ;)

I avoid Bitch!Ginny as both a reader and a writer since I get enough of that from canon. I've never understood the "perfect heroine" complaints either because to me, Ginny (version 2.0, that is) is one of the most unpleasant characters in the books, and the fact that the author expects me to find her behaviour impressive makes it worse. (Same goes for the twins, btw - I wouldn't mind their casual cruelty half as much as I do if the author didn't expect me to consider it funny.)

Ohhhhhh, SohW - now you've made me nostalgic... *bewails fact that it probably won't ever be finished*

I've never read a convincing villain!Ron so far, but it would definitely be interesting! Do you have any recs?

As someone said above, "Dialog" is a German word to me ;)

The only real, deep, irreconcilable difference between us? I love Blue Cheese ;))

[annafugazzi.livejournal.com]

First, thank you so much for the recs, dear! ♥
You're welcome :) :)

I've never understood the "perfect heroine" complaints either because to me, Ginny (version 2.0, that is) is one of the most unpleasant characters in the books, and the fact that the author expects me to find her behaviour impressive makes it worse.
LOL! Well, I don't find her terribly unpleasant, but I really don't get why she's supposedly "too perfect." In what way? The way that she ditches boys for rather superficial reasons? The way she can lie at the drop of a hat? She can be funny, and she has some good ideas, and she's definitely brave. But perfect? I don't see it.

(Same goes for the twins, btw - I wouldn't mind their casual cruelty half as much as I do if the author didn't expect me to consider it funny.)
Yeah, I one of the things I really like about mistful's Draco is that he calls them the Psychopath Twins. They're funny, bright, brilliant, etc... but also more than a little callous.

Ohhhhhh, SohW - now you've made me nostalgic... *bewails fact that it probably won't ever be finished*
Shhhhh... I'm still totally in denial about that ::sob::

I've never read a convincing villain!Ron so far, but it would definitely be interesting! Do you have any recs?
Only two stories stand out and I cannot for the life of me remember their names. In one of them he was an Auror who'd gone terribly wrong, sort of eaten away by his jealousy of Harry's continued fame and the reality of marriage to Hermione... not being exactly a joyous thing. Harry had to turn him in, in the end. It was rather ouchy. The other one was (I think) Resolutions? One that didn't exactly finish, where he was befriended by a pureblood supremacist who basically flattered him and worked on his sense of inferiority within his family and with regards to Harry... and he was also jealous of Draco's relationship with Harry... damn, don't remember more than that. Doh...


The only real, deep, irreconcilable difference between us? I love Blue Cheese ;))
::shudder::

[fourth_rose]

Yes, I remember the evil Ron from "Resolutions", but I found him rather unconvincing. The other story you're describing sounds interesting - I'll keep looking for it!

[drgaellon]

I'm really weird. I use all "-or" endings, but almost always use "-re", and always "dialogue." My friends tell me it's because I'm a pedant. They're probably correct.

[annafugazzi.livejournal.com]

I'm really weird. I use all "-or" endings, but almost always use "-re", and always "dialogue." My friends tell me it's because I'm a pedant. They're probably correct.
LOL!!

I was once called the Professor of Pedantry by a student. To my face. He said it in a complimenting tone, and was surprised when I didn't smile and say, "Aw, that's so sweet of you!" A couple of the other students snickered and told me afterwards that he'd planned his great joke ahead of time, and fully expected to make me look like an idiot, dazzled me with his Super Sophisticated Vocabulary. Oh well :)

Adore your icon, BTW. My kids and I just finished going over the Battle of Hastings, and its effects on the English language. Now I'm trying to decide whether to show them the icon ;)

[drgaellon]

He ought to have realized that a true pedant would know the word right off, and know it to be unflattering. I'd certainly have penalized him for sassing a teacher.

The quote comes from science fiction writer H. Beam Piper.

[aquila-star.livejournal.com]

Yay, thanks for the rec. :D I'm still so happy it's done, lol.

:D

[annafugazzi.livejournal.com]

You're welcome! And thanks for letting me help :)

[aquila-star.livejournal.com]

:D You are welcome to help anytime. :P