Everything's Coming Up Roses

[annafugazzi]

Somehow, and I swear this was not intentional, this turned into a post mostly related to fourth_rose. B'zuh?

• But first, a rec: At First Sight, by aquila_star. Arthur and Molly Weasley, from the very beginning. Yes, I am reccing het. It's just... ::squeee:: It rings so true to the characters, and it's so sweet to see them all young and bright-eyed and not yet able to strike fear into a huuuge horde of red-headed boys.
  
  
• So, fourth_rose. First off, I was reminded this morning of her hd_holidays e-mail fic, which is frankly hysterical. Go. Read.
  
  
• Second, OMGOMG, she's updated Not In the Hands of Boys. Squeee!
  
  
• And I finally finished a post I started a while ago, prompted by fourth_rose, who did the opposite of "Top Ten Ways You Know You're Reading a Fic By Me."
  
  After writing out a few list items I realized that for many of the things I can't/won't write, I sounded rather snooty, like I thought there was something wrong with them. Which isn't the case, mostly. To me, non-writeable-by-me-elements of fic are a little like non-favourite foods, with varying degrees of Not My Thing:
  
  
  • Peaches: They're not my favourite fruit and I don't normally use/cook with them myself, but will happily eat them if they are offered.
    
  • Swiss cheese: Don't get it, avoid eating it, but if drowned out by other stuff I'll swallow with a smile, instead of spitting into a napkin. Think no absolutely ill of others who love it.
    
  • Blue cheese: Don't get it. Can't eat it. Ick. Others like it; go them. Just... not near me, 'k?
    
  • Monkey Brain: Don't get it, wrong wrong wrong, wish it did not exist as a food.
  
  
  
  Top Ten Eleven Ways you know you're not reading one of my stories
  
  
  1. Bitch!Ginny.
     
     I know she's a Mary Sue. I don't care.
     
     "But doesn't it bother you that she suddenly went from near-mute dweeb to perfect heroine between books four and six?"
     
     No, because
     
     1. Ron remarked a few times that she never shut up before Harry came into the picture
        
     2. The twins liked her, which they wouldn't have if she was really as dimwitted and blah as she seemed to be in the first four books
        
     3. She never seemed that impressive to me, so I don't get the "perfect heroine" complaint
        
     4. My best friend actually went through a painfully shy => popular girl metamorphosis between ages 13-16
     
     
     I have no problem reading bitch!Ginny in other fics, as long as it's realistic and not something that clearly looks like the author really hated somebody just like Ginny during their high school years, and is getting back at them by gleefully massacring¹ Ginny's character. OTOH, authors who loathe her and get rid of her creatively have my undying admiration. Eg:
     
     On the last day of Ginny Weasley's life the sea around Azkaban was as still as glass, skimmed with gold under the rising sun, no hindrance to a ferry powered by magic but unsettling nonetheless.
     - first sentence of The Shadow of His Wings, and only part of why I lurve its author
     
     
  2. Bastard!Ron or bitch!Hermione Well, OK, I like poking fun at them sometimes. But not making them the villains. This is also peaches, by the way; if it's done believably and/or interestingly, I eat up villain!Ron or Hermione with a spoon, just because wow, cool. I've written stuff where either or both are estranged from Harry, but can't make it for any reason other than just Life Sucks Sometimes, and even nice people sometimes lose touch with each other, or have a big falling out.
     
     
  3. Harry realising he has been gay as a treeful of pixies since birth². Sorry, but the boy had dreams about Ginny that made him "devoutly thankful that Ron could not perform Legilimency," and I'm betting he was not dreaming about playing rousing games of Wizarding Chess with her. I'll totally write him being mostly gay. Where after the teenage "oh wow naughty bits that aren't mine!!11!!" thrill has faded, he has realized they have to be a certain kind of naughty bits or things don't go well. But fully gay, as in Kinsey Scale 6.0? Um, no.
     
     Again, peaches. I'll read other folk's Queer as a Three-Knut Coin fics. Just can't write 'em myself.
     
     
  4. Kink kinkier than straight plain sex, aka Tab A into Slot B (or C). I wrote pegging once. Oh, and a threesome. Could conceivably write blindfolding/light bondage. Rimming, scat, fisting, bloodplay, etc? Range anywhere between peaches and monkey brains, but all are off my cookbook.
     
     
  5. Use of the word "lover" in dialogue. I watched a Saturday Night Live skit once where these two horribly pretentious people called each other "Lohvaire!" and it totally killed the word for me, for all time. To the point where it's blue cheese even in other people's stories. Doh.
     
     
  6. Dom/sub. Somewhere between peaches and Swiss cheese in others' fics. Which, come to think of it, doesn't sound too appetizing, but hey, it's just a metaphor ;)
     
     
  7. Description. Cause I suck at it. I'm all dialogue and thought processes, until some curious beta asks, "Where are they? Indoors or outdoors? Studying or playing Quidditch?"
     
     "Oh!" say I. "Right! They're supposed to be in the middle of a Quidditch game. I know! I'll point out that it's windy! And that the sky is blue. Um... deep blue."
     
     My Awesome Description, let me show you it.
     
     
  8. Poetry that is not in limerick form. Peaches.
     
     
  9. Fic from the bad guy's POV. The closest I ever got was Lucius, for a Bond DVD Extra, and holy hell was that hard to write. Semi-bad guy, not-so-good-guy, I can do. Really bad? Killing kittens for the hell of it? Cannot.
     
     
  10. Honor, color, odor, center, theater, dialog. Canadian writing in a British fandom here; I may forget to take out the occasional "gotten," may have Harry walk into the Great Hall wearing red and gold leather pants without getting in trouble for exposing himself, but -our and -re endings come with the territory. Never notice the American spellings in other people's writing, unless they're telling me I have to "correct" my own. And I pledge eternal gratitude to anybody who points out a forgotten gotten, or inappropriate leather pants.
      
      
  11. Femmeslash. Peachy peaches :)
  
  
  
  ¹ How can that be the right spelling? And yet it is. Huh.
  ² Simile not mine. Shadow of His Wings. I believe one of the twins says it to Draco.

Comments

[drgaellon]

I dislike it in gay contexts, because it seems to imply that the relationship is all about sex - in English, the word clearly LACKS the connotation of "one who is loved," and implies only "one with whom I have sex." "Lover" has more intimacy than "f*ckbuddy," but in my head, less than "boyfriend," "partner," or "spouse." I eagerly await the day when "husband" can be applied with abandon. (I also avoid "significant other;" it is kludgy and clinical.)

[annafugazzi.livejournal.com]

Hm, yeah, good point.

I prefer other terms, but don't have much of a problem with using the word lover to describe somebody (though you're right, it does imply mostly sex); it's only its use in dialogue that makes me hit Esc. "My lover gave me this fancy broomstick" is OK, though I'd prefer boyfriend, partner, husband, spouse, whatever. "Thanks for the fancy broomstick, lover," is like a fingernail across a chalkboard. Purely personal hangup, not logical, etc etc, just like my dislike of blue cheese, but there it is :(